Girls Night In
by The Third Biker Scholar
Summary: the girls of the mansion unwind for the night, but with some unexpected people listening in. and just what sort of game is Tabby talking about? read and find out! (Complete and Sequel posted!)
1. Default Chapter

In my opinion, these people have no where near enough fun with each other. Hope you all enjoy it!  
  
Oh yeah, don't own X-men, or Weird Science. (I'm very very poor) ~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chap 1: when girls get ideas, you should hide  
  
Tabitha whooped as the last bell rang out over the school. "Three day weekend!! No waking up early on a Friday!"  
  
"You wake up on Fridays?" Rogue asked sarcastically. Tabby shrugged merrily, way too happy to be out and free to let the goth one bring her down. She waved over at her roommate as Kitty came over. "Hey guys, you free tonight?"  
  
"Heard about a party?" Tabby asked excitedly.  
  
"No, that's not until Saturday night at Tarryn's. But I have an idea for tonight."  
  
"Whacha' got in mind?" the wild one asked.  
  
"A girls' night in! We'll do hair, makeup, nails-and I figured out a way to do yours, Rogue, so no excuses! Chips, dip, chains, whips!"  
  
Jean laughed out loud as she came up behind them. "You've seen 'Weird Science' way too many times, Pryde. But I like the idea. Every girl at the institute?"  
  
"Yep! I've got Amara, Jubilee, and Rahne coming too. Pack the good pajamas!" Kitty crowed merrily.  
  
"Sounds good," Rogue said. "I'm in."  
  
"You have to be," Kitty answered with a smile, "it's in our room."  
  
"Count me in too," Tabby said. "I haven't hung out with girls in way too long. Pietro was talking about baseball the other day and I actually understood how to do a batting average." She shuddered in remembered horror. "I need to be feminine again. I think I might have forgotten how to shop."  
  
Jean looked at her in shock. "Shopping's an instinct, you can't forget it!  
  
"Shop later," Rogue said, "party now."  
  
"Then let's do it!"  
  
************  
  
Evan groaned out loud. Man this sucked. Security duty on the night of a three day weekend. 'Whoopdee. I get to watch the cameras for six hours with nothing else to do. Maybe Roberto managed to get that movie and I can watch it while he plays'-Spyke caught movement from the corner of his eye, and turned to catch the living quarters' camera. He saw all the girls walking into Rogue and Kitty's room. They had popcorn, chips, what looked like lots of bottles of something, movies, and ninety different bags of luggage. He rolled his eyes, what the hell did women need with that damn much stuff? They weren't even leaving the building, for Christ's sake!  
  
It suddenly hit him what they were up to. Sleep-over! Many pretty girls in their nighties all in one room! He knew what to do. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was a tight fit, but Scott, Ray, Roberto, Remy, Kurt, Sam, and Bobby all managed to fit in the small room with him.  
  
They'd almost had to talk Kurt into it. He was the gentleman of the group, and not up for sneaking a peek at the girls. But as soon as Evan mentioned it was in Kitty's room, he'd jumped at the chance. Kitty and Lance had broken up, again, over two weeks ago. But instead of talking things over with Kurt like she always did, Shadowcat had avoided him. Well, not quite avoided him, but she wasn't talking to him like she used to. For two whole weeks. It was driving Kurt insane, and led most of the house to believe that Lance had been jealous of the blue furred boy and gotten into it with Kitty. Kurt was hoping that some of the girls would ask about it and Kitty could tell them something. After all, it could just be a girl thing.  
  
All of them agreed it was worth it the moment they got a good look at the girls. Jean was in a lavender teddy, making Remy joke that Scott might need to clean his tongue from all the lint off the carpet. Cyclops had punched his arm, but did stop drooling. Rogue was in a button up green satin sleeper with flannel heart print pants. Jubilee had on a short silver robe over undies, to Ray's delight, and Tabby had on a tight wife- beater with pink silk boxers, that she admitted she bought solely to annoy Lance. "It drives him nuts when he washes clothes and sees my cute little boxers," she said with a smirk.  
  
Amara had on what looked like royal sitting robes, made of the finest silk, and Rahne had a p.j. suit of cotton with little dogs and cats printed on it. Kitty, to Kurt's and every other guys' surprise, wore a pair of blue fuzzy slippers and an over-sized shirt that Kurt would have sworn belonged to him.  
  
They were sitting in various positions, doing make-overs, talking about school and who was dating who. Tabby was elaborately braiding Jean's long hair, and Kitty carefully dusted blush on jubilee's cheeks. Rahne was carefully painting Rogue's nails, using latex gloves like professionals did. She took her work seriously, and nearly every girl said that she should be a beautician.  
  
*************** "What is it with girls and their nails?" Scott asked out loud. "I mean, does any guy care what color a girl's nails are? I never notice." 'Liar,' he thought mentally. 'I know exactly what color Jean wears.'  
  
"I don't either, but it seems to make them happy to color-coordinate," Roberto said puzzled. "Go figure." *********************  
  
Tabby spoke up. "I've got an idea for a game if anyone wants to try it."  
  
Jean raised a slightly nervous eyebrow. "Truth or Dare?"  
  
"Nah, this is more fun. Its called Blast, and all you do is pick a girl, give her a guy, and have her say the most outrageous thing she can think of to him."  
  
"Sounds fun," Jubilee said. "Who picks the guy?"  
  
"We all do," Tabby answered. "and I say we do this in order of age. Jean, you first!"  
  
"Oh, come on"-  
  
"Yeah Jean, it'll be fun," Kitty said.  
  
Tabby looked around with a conspiracy smile. "We won't tell anyone what we say here, right girls?"  
  
"Right!" they all chorused.  
  
"Okay, okay. Who's my guy?"  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes. "You really have to ask? Scott of course!"  
  
*** Every guy just whooped, grinning at the blushing leader. ***  
  
"Oh, no, not him"-  
  
"C'mon, Jean, it never goes out of this room," Tabby assured her.  
  
"Yeah, Jean, lets hear it," Amara said wickedly.  
  
"What do I have to say again?"  
  
"C'mon, Jean, don't be a spoil sport! Just the craziest thing possible."  
  
"Alright. Here goes." She threw back her head and in her best sultry voice sang out softly, "Who wants to be spanked by me?"  
  
Every girl's jaw dropped.  
  
Then they all burst out laughing. Even Jean was cracking up at the thought. Tabby laughed so hard she almost wet her pants and had to make an emergency trip to the bathroom. Rahne fell off the bed laughing so hard.  
  
Kitty managed to say as soon as they calmed down a little, "I know exactly what would happen if you ever said that to him. Either he starts hearing the hallelujah chorus in the back of his head, or you're gonna end up leaning over him, while he's out on the floor, going 'hold on Scott, the paramedics are coming!'" They broke down laughing again, all of them picturing the look on his face.  
  
*** On the other side of the mansion, every guy was howling in laughter, Kurt having to be supported by Bobby and Roberto to stop from going into convulsions. The whole while Evan pounded on the back of their leader, barely managing to get out between laughing fits, "Breathe, Scott, breathe! I don't wanna do CPR on a guy!"  
  
~*~*~**~*~* hope that makes you smile! Please let me know what you think and review!! 


	2. Next Target!

Holy cow. I've never had such a great response to any story ever. You all have no idea how flattered I am. Thanks so much!  
  
(um, if its not too much to ask, would you all check out my other fics? They're good too, I swear!)  
  
I'm so poor. (how poor are you?) I'm so poor, the homeless give me spare change, now do you all really think I own X-men?  
  
Chap 2: Next target!  
  
It took some time for everyone to catch their breath, but once they did..Tabby was up next. "You know, I really don't think I can top that one, Jean, that was just priceless. If you ever say it, I want it in full visual with audio surround sound. We'll probably hear him swallow his tongue."  
  
The red head wiped tears of laughter out of her eyes and smirked at the mental image. "You got it."  
  
Boom Boom looked around consideringly. "So who's my guy?"  
  
"Pietro," Amara called out.  
  
"Okay, speedie-man." She thought about it a second. "You know, I think you're wearing my underwear. Gimmie back my fruit roll-ups!"  
  
Kitty caught it first. "Oh my god, you have edible underwear?!"  
  
"Homemade, sweetie!" Everyone whooped at that, catcalls and speculations abounding.  
  
*** The guys were making the same sounds, with Remy firmly believing that they were bubble-gum flavored. But Roberto started arguing that they were cinnamon, and Bobby had to break up what looked to be a nasty fight once someone asked who would check to see.  
  
***  
  
"What flavor would you say for Scott, miss masochist?" Kitty asked Jean.  
  
"What? Edible underwear? For him?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
Jean almost snorted root beer out her nose before she calmed down enough to give it some thought. "Hmm. Something dark and serious, but it has to be sweet, cuz he is too. I think I'd have to say chocolate."  
  
"I can see that working for him, but I think strawberry is more like it," Rogue said, and Jean shrugged.  
  
"I think Kurt's a minty kind of guy," Amara said.  
  
"Hey! He's sweeter than that," Jubilee said with a happy smirk.  
  
"Guys, will you please knock it off about Kurt!" Rogue said, blushing. "He's my brother, for Christ's sake."  
  
"Okay, sorry." Kitty smiled, "But I think he's a caramel myself."  
  
"Sweet idea!" They all groaned, "Rahne, for god's sake, no more puns!"  
  
"Roberto?" Tabby asked.  
  
"Cinnamon," the metamorph laughed out loud. "You really have to ask?  
  
"Maybe tamale," Kitty said thoughtfully.  
  
"What about Ray?"  
  
"For Beserker? For his hair alone, I'd say Hawaiian punch," Amara mused.  
  
"Spiked Hawaiian punch," Kitty added.  
  
"I'll drink to that." Rahne had to duck again, many, many pillows.  
  
"Bobby?" They all just looked at each other. "Spearmint!"  
  
*** Iceman pumped his fist in the air. "Yeesss!" Every guy there just shoved him down off the chair. "They all admire my charm, my sense of leadership- "  
  
"Your humungous head," Sam added in an awestruck tone. Many males snickered as Cannonball groaned like he was in pain, "Someone please shoot him, I'll pay five dollars." Bobby glared at him, but then looked thoughtfully back at the screen. "You know, I never knew girls could be such pervs," he mused aloud. The guys nodded surprised agreement. ***  
  
Rogue considered their next underwear victim. "Evan?"  
  
"Ohh, hard one."  
  
"Don't we all know it." They all laughed at the double meaning while the guys all groaned. Now they'd have to deal with a strutting Spyke all night. "Hmm. Bittersweet?" Amara tossed out.  
  
"That works, but I was thinking more like thin mint cookies," Jean said.  
  
Kitty nodded in agreement. "I like that better."  
  
"Me too," Jubilee replied. She looked over at the others, "Hey, who's turn is it for Blast?"  
  
"Rogue's." They all smiled at the person they'd give her. She groaned, "I'm not gonna like this, am I?"  
  
"What would you say to-Logan?"  
  
"What?! Logan!? Why the hell do I get the hard ones?"  
  
"C'mon," Tabby grinned, "it's not that hard."  
  
"Okay, I've got it anyway," the southern girl said with a smile.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"I'd go up to him and say nice ass, then slap it."  
  
Every girl broke down in various laughing, whistles, or speculations about how often the older man worked out to get that body of his. Roberto nearly wet his pants laughing, and every guy was imaging the look on Wolverine's face. ~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*  
  
Wolverine chases down inuficcrzy with all blades out.  
  
"Go back to writing Inuyasha and leave me alone, you pervert!"  
  
I'm protesting at this point as I run for my life. "But Wolvie, you do have a nice-"  
  
"Shut up!!"  
  
(while I'm dodging adamantium, you guys go on and review!) 


	3. Here's to the Sexy Elf!

Am still poor, still broke, in the hole, up in hock-hey, just how many different ways can you say I suffer from lack of funds? I don't own X- men!!  
  
And as for the story title, as true as it is..  
  
.  
  
.  
  
I am the world's biggest fan of Nightcrawler. *****  
  
Chap 3: Here's to the Sexy Elf!  
  
Recovering from the convulsions of laughter took some effort, but Tabby took some deep breaths. "Kitty, you're next. And we say-Kurt!"  
  
"Kurt?!" her face fell. "Aww, man."  
  
Amara smiled, "You can do it."  
  
"But no one wants to shock Kurt!" Kitty cried.  
  
Rahne nodded. "She's got a point there."  
  
*** Kurt was getting embarrassed. "And just what the hell does that mean?" he sputtered angrily. ***  
  
"Yeah, he is awful sweet," Jubilee mimed a love struck teeny-bopper. She got serious a minute later. "I can honestly say he's the nicest guy I ever met."  
  
*** "Uh-oh, man, you're starting to sound like the teddy bear guy," Sam said worriedly.  
  
Kurt looked at him in confusion. "Vas?"  
  
"The one all the girls love but never"-Evan jabbed him hard in the ribs, almost putting a spike into it, "ohh, man, not good." ***  
  
"And that accent is so sexy," Jean added softly.  
  
** "Well, he's wrong about that."  
  
"Shut up, Roberto!" Scott snapped. Kurt edged away from where Cyclops was sitting. It might be wise to hide from the fearless leader if he got jealous of him. ***  
  
Tabby looked over at the red-head considering. "Well, Jean, got a euro fetish?"  
  
"No! I mean, the way he talks, it just gives him this air of mystery, you know? Worldly, kind of."  
  
"Yeah." They all sighed, to Kurt's complete surprise. They were mooning over him?  
  
Tabby smiled. "Okay, Kitty, we'll let it slide just once, but only because it's the sexy elf."  
  
Kitty raised up her bottle of sarsaparilla. "A toast! To the sexy elf, Kurt Wagner, may he never know how much he really turns us on!"  
  
Rahne picked up her Yoo-hoo, "to he of the blue fur."  
  
"To he of the fastest and best moves in the house!"  
  
"To he of the sexy walk." Jubilee looked at their surprised faces with exasperation. "What? It is sexy; it's like strutting without the attitude."  
  
Kitty nodded in complete agreement as she said, "Good point."  
  
"Jeez, guys," Rogue said blushingly. For god's sake, this was her brother they were talking about. But she raised her black cherry coke up to the ceiling. "To him of bad puns, and if I ever find out who bought him that joke book"-  
  
Rahne smiled nervously, "To he of early wake-up calls."  
  
Kitty smiled, "To the king of sweet."  
  
"To he with fangs worthy of David Borneaz," Tabby added.  
  
Rahne looked confused, "Who?"  
  
"Angel off 'Buffy.'"  
  
The wolf-girl smiled broadly. "Whoo-hoo!"  
  
"I'll drink to that," Amara took a sip of cream soda.  
  
Kitty threw in the final clincher. "To the cutest ears since Legolas in the Lord of the Rings."  
  
"Amen!" All the girls clinked their bottles and glasses together, laughing the whole time.  
  
"You know, he totally ruined that movie for me." Kitty looked around at their confused looks. "He did! I was sitting there, watching Vigo Morgenstern, and then Orlando Bloom comes on screen." (All the girls sighed happily. All the guys just groaned.) "Of course, drooling over the blonde, when he turns his head and I saw his ears. Swear to god, my first thought was, 'Kurt's are cuter.' I spent forty-five minutes studying the ears and thinking, 'those are so fake. They're supposed to go up, not out! What are you, Mr. Spock?' That did it, like, totally ruined the movies for me. I can't even watch 'the Two Towers' without thinking that."  
  
"That's not true!" Amara almost shouted. "No one is cuter than Orlando Bloom!"  
  
"Here!" Kitty rooted under her bed and brought out a magazine. She flipped through it and found a full facial pic of Legolas. She then put a picture of Kurt right next to it from her scrapbook. "See? Ruined. Totally ruined."  
  
Rahne stared, tilting her head from side to side considering. Then a look of pure horror crossed her face. "Oh, no!" she almost shoved the magazine to Jean, who had the same reaction. "Good god. She's right. Kurt's ears are better than Legolas'!" Amara and Tabby groaned aloud in agreement, "I'm gonna be thinking about that the next time I see that movie!  
  
Jean looked over at Kitty and nodded. "Ruined. Kurt just single handedly ruined the Lord of the Rings for every girl here." They all nodded in agreement.  
  
******* I cannot believe all the reviews I'm getting for this! I'd never thought humor was my strong point, but if you all think so, well then!  
  
A few responses, since you guys are so wonderful. ( and only a few, as all of them would, um, take up too much disk space.)  
  
Lady LeBeau: hope your family has since been reassured of you dubious sanity. ;-) thanks for the compliment!  
  
JaSSerS: Honey, yes we are!  
  
Hallanole: Hope you feel better soon, and thanks for reviewing!  
  
Cuddness: um, actually, I was going for the whole idea of 'make fun of authority figures' rather than incest. (EEEWWW!!!) and hey, I want this to be funny, I just have a hard time working the formula: Rogue + love interest = humor. But it might turn out that way, who knows?  
  
PomegranteQueen: Hey! That isn't a bad pairing! (Rare and a litte strange, yes, but I know 3 authors who've done it beautifully.) and no, this is not a Remy/Jubilee.  
  
Little Took: thanks for my story's first review! 


	4. Why Kitty won't talk to Fuzzy

Hey guys! My god, this story has the most reviews of all my x-men fics! Wow! You all are great.  
  
This goes to all my fellow kurtty fans out there, and I'm sorry to all lancitty fans. But I think that this could actually happen sometime.  
  
Chap: Why Kitty won't talk to Fuzzy  
  
Tabby called out, "Hey, Jubilee?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Tabby smiled, reminding them of their game. "Your turn. And I say, Gambit."  
  
Jean looked over at her. "He doesn't exactly strike me as a shrinking violet. What can't you say to Remy?"  
  
"French accent," Amara sighed. "It's so lyrical."  
  
"True," Rahne said with a smile. "They say it's the third most sexy in the world."  
  
Kitty looked at her with interest. "What's got the top two?"  
  
"Irish and Scottish. So there's hope for Scott!" Rahne quickly had to duck the many pillows, both thrown and mentally lifted at her.  
  
"So what would you say?" Tabby continued.  
  
The Chinese girl smiled. "Anything from South Park."  
  
Amara frowned in confusion. "Why?"  
  
"He hates that show! I quoted Cartman at him, he almost lost it!"  
  
"Weird. I wonder why," Jean said.  
  
"Traumatic incident in childhood. A total and completely irrational fear of construction paper people," Rogue said matter-of-factly.  
  
**  
  
"Is she right?" Kurt asked Gambit. The Cajun just glared. "Vas? Ask a simple question..."  
  
**  
  
Tabby snorted and Jubilee just shrugged her shoulders. She looked slyly over at Rahne. "Your turn, wolf girl. And I say, Roberto."  
  
The metamorph just grinned, more than ready for this one. "You must talk so big to make up for smaller things." The room filled with laughter and whistling. The Hispanic boy was well known for his ego. "Nice shot, honey," Tabby said admiringly. "Had that one on your mind?"  
  
"You bet. Normally, Rob's okay, but sometimes he just gets such an ego trip. I've been dying to say it, but I really don't want to hurt his feelings."  
  
"Say it anyway" Jean laughed. "I bet he'd have a come back ready to zing your pants off."  
  
***  
  
Not one guy was left standing when Rahne gave that little comment. They were almost all on the floor at the look on Sunspot's face, pure shock.  
  
***  
  
It was Tabby who spotted the problem. "Uh-oh. Girls, we are seriously running out of provisions. Who's up for a snack run?"  
  
Rahne offered to go raid the pantry but pointed out something else. "We're low on sodas too. I can't carry everything, whose going with me?"  
  
"I'm up for it!" Jubilee called. They both left the room while the others returned to the game.  
  
"Amara," tabby crooned, its your turn."  
  
"Oh, no."  
  
"And we say"-the remaining girls conferred. "What would you say to Sam?"  
  
"Sam? Farm boy?"  
  
***  
  
"I hate that damn nickname!"  
  
Ray looked over, "Better than Rube."  
  
Sam considered that. "Good point."  
  
**  
  
"if I had to say anything, hmm. 'The way you plow through things, how come you've never plowed a girl's field?'"  
  
Rahne stared. "You mean, he's a vir"-  
  
"I overheard him and Bobby talking one day over 'Video Vixens Return'. She shuddered. "I should have told the professor."  
  
Rogue almost shuddered too. "Video Vixens? How lame can you get?"  
  
**  
  
Sam got rather indignant, but the effect was ruined considering how bad he was blushing. "Hey! That was a fine piece of directing by Luce Persmen!"  
  
Scott looked at him oddly. "Sure it was, Sam, sure it was."  
  
**  
  
Kitty thought for a moment. "Since you guys had me skip Kurt, I'll do the last one."  
  
Tabby smiled, "Thanks, hon. What would you say to-to-er---Who haven't we used?"  
  
Rogue ticked it off on her fingers. "The professor,"(yeah, like they were really going to say that within fifty miles of Cerebro's range) "Ray, Bobby and Evan."  
  
Jean decided. "I say, Evan."  
  
"Alright then." Kitty thought a minute. "What a boner, I can't think of- What?" Several girls were laughing their heads off. "What did I say?"  
  
Rahne came back first, and handed out the ring-dings, cheese puffs, guacamole dip, apple and caramel slices, fresh made popcorn, and potato chips. She'd even raided Mr. McCoy's secret stash of Twinkies. "Me nose," she said happily when they asked how she'd found it. Jubilee came back from her drink run, passing out root beers, cherry cokes, and cream sodas left and right. Tabby filled in what they'd missed of Blast, and they settled back down in their places.  
  
Jubilee plunked down on the sleeping bag and looked up at Kitty. "You know, I've been wondering. What's up with you and Kurt? I know you guys are still friends, but you haven't talked to him in ages. What's the reason?" Kitty looked upset for a second, and the Chinese girl quickly amended, "You don't have to tell if you don't want to. Forget I asked, 'kay?"  
  
"No, it's alright. I know you're all dying to know anyway." She looked down at her hands that she'd folded in her lap. "I needed to tell you eventually. The thing is, I'd known it wasn't working for a long time now. Me and Lance." Everyone tensed on both sides of the screen. This little mystery had plagued the mansion for weeks now. "I couldn't understand it. The only reason I went out with him was because of the way he talked when we first met. Jean knows." The older girl nodded in understanding. "He seemed to really know what I was going through, and he sounded sincere. But ever since then, it just turned off. It took me a while to figure it out, but when the lightning hit-it was just manipulation, just to get what he wanted."  
  
She looked off to the side to gather her thoughts again. "When I told him that I wanted out, he didn't take it well. We had the biggest fight." A tear fell down her cheek and Jean mentally lifted a box of tissues over to her. "Why couldn't he just accept it? I was trying to keep my temper, but I was so mad. It just hit like a ton of bricks that he was just using me from the start. He started yelling at me, and called me a"-she sniffed hard-"a lying whore. He accused me of sleeping with every guy at the institute, even Mr. Logan."  
  
"Rotten s.o.b.," Rahne said softly. Jean and Tabby nodded in agreement.  
  
***  
  
the sentiment was echoed by every guy in the room.  
  
**  
  
"Then he brought Kurt into it. He---he said-god, I can't even repeat those words, its too sick! I'd never even heard of those things-those words in all my life, and I went to computer school in Chicago." She looked up at them all and her eyes were fierce. "God I lost it. I hit him with everything I had, both guns blazing. No one talks about Fuzzy Elf that way."  
  
Rogue nodded, the look in her eyes grim. "Damn right they don't, not if they want to live long."  
  
Kitty smiled, but then it faded. She looked back down. "Lance got even madder. That's when he hit me." Every eyebrow in the room went up and all the girls went still. Tabby looked on in shock. "I never saw it coming, or I would have phased through it."  
  
"That's why you phased through to the danger room early that night, isn't it?" Amara asked softly, the realization hitting her. "To hide the mark with a real injury?"  
  
"To hide broken ribs." Kitty's voice was almost bitter. "He punched me right at the top of the stairs, I slammed into the wall hard enough to crack three and break two. Thank god Mr. Logan wasn't there that night, or he'd have smelled it on me. We would have had a hard time explaining why the boarding house was tiny pieces of wood. Mr. McCoy just thought the bruise and ribs were from the ram and didn't ask any further."  
  
~~~  
  
sorry I know I said I'd keep this funny, but I just couldn't help it. It would take something drastic for kitty to not talk to kurt. Don't worry, kitty has revenge! Please review!!!! 


	5. Revenge and New Games

All Hail Pirate Kit and her Awesomely Awesome fics!! ( this gal is funny! Much better than me, {hic, sniffle})  
  
My sincerest thanks to the Resident Psycopath for pointing out some mistakes I made. I really appreciate that you took the time to help me improve my fic! I've reposted the chaps and fixed my capitalization mistakes, most of them anyway.  
  
Now on with the show!  
  
Chap 5: Revenge and New Games  
  
Scott had clenched his fists so hard he'd have marks the following day from where his nails had broke the skin and drew blood. Every guy in the room was equally pissed off, even Remy, who hadn't been there very long. Kitty was a sweet, gentle girl, who'd never deliberately hurt anyone, and they were united in the thoughts of serious maimage to Avalanche.   
  
But they were all backed to one side of the room, as far away from the growling Nightcrawler as they could get. No one had ever really seen Kurt angry, he was usually so collected. It didn't matter that they'd never seen it; this side of him they all knew was dangerous. His fur was bristled, back arched slightly, fangs bared in feral snarl. Though none of them could speak German, they could translate was he was saying over and over well enough.   
  
"I'll kill him, I'll kill him, I'll kill him, I'll kill him.."  
  
***   
  
"Is that why you've stayed away from him? From Kurt?" Rogue asked softly. "He thinks that you're mad at him for something."   
  
"What?" Kitty looked up in confusion. "Why would he think that?"   
  
"You haven't talked to him in ages, you know. You talk to him about everything, and especially when you break up with Lance. You haven't told him anything about this, and he thinks it's because you're angry about something."   
  
"Oh. It's not that, its just"-Kitty's voice shrank to almost nothing. "Kurt could tell."   
  
Rahne looked at her curiously. "Tell what?"   
  
"He could tell what had happened to me. He doesn't even have to read my mind; he'd just know what had happened. I don't want him to go off after avalanche, it's over now."   
  
"No its not," Jean said angrily. "He should not get away with something like that, Kitty."   
  
"He didn't. Not without a severe concussion from where I whanged him over the head with a frying pan. Phased back up through the floor and brought it with me, right behind him and bam! He's out like dead fish."   
  
Tabby finally broke her silence. "That was you?! I thought he'd finally p.o'ed Freddy one too many times. I can't believe Lance would do something like that!"  
  
Kitty frowned. "I wouldn't have either. I don't understand what's with him lately. Its like he's become a whole other person." A terrible thought struck. "You don't think he and Mystique had a falling out, and she really killed him and is just pretending to be him to not freak you guys out?"  
  
Tabby cocked an eyebrow. "Girl, she wouldn't care about freaking us, I think she'd enjoy it." A nice thought came. "Want I should blow up his room?"  
  
Kitty laughed, "And clean it for him? No way."  
  
Jean found a smile at the humor, and steered them back to the original conversation.. "But even after all that, why haven't you talked to Kurt? You'd feel better."   
  
"I know, but I just-I don't want to rebound."   
  
Jubilee caught it first. "The lighting brought that with it too?"   
  
Kitty nodded. "Oh, yeah."   
  
Rahne looked at them like they were missing a circuit. "Huh?"   
  
Jubilee explained. "You want to go out with Kurt, but you don't want him to feel like the rebound guy, right?"   
  
"Exactly. I need to just be Kitty Pryde awhile, you know? Fix myself on my own, if that makes sense. Besides," she blushed and turned her head down, "who said Kurt would want to go out with me?"   
  
Rahne echoed the response of everyone listening, male and female. "Are you daft, girl? He's mad for ya! Everyone knows it."  
  
***  
  
"No joke," Remy said, looking over at Nightcrawler. Kurt flushed under his fur.  
  
Scott raised his eyebrows. "What? You thought you were hiding it?"  
  
***   
  
"He was, past tense. After all, he's been with you," Tabby almost flushed at the memory, "miss tall, blonde and wild. And then there's Amanda, who didn't freak out when she first saw him. Me? What's so great about me to him?"   
  
"Kitty"-Jean cut Rogue off before she could finish the thought. "Hope springs eternal, you know? Just give it time, you'll see."   
  
"Yeah, I guess." Kitty looked up and smiled devilishly. "Speaking of time and hope, when are you gonna give Scott some and ask him out?"   
  
"Me? And S-Scott?   
  
**  
  
"Ohh, she stuttered! Good sign, mon amie, very good sign," Remy said knowingly.  
  
**   
  
"We-I mean, I-I don't know! One minute its just us, so clear and open and we're good together! The next? Tarryn crawls all over him."   
  
"He doesn't exactly like that, you know," Jubilee said.   
  
"But he doesn't stop it, now, does he? (Sigh.)"  
  
Amara frowned. "it might help if you dumped the dumb jock."  
  
"Duncan isn't-" Snickers from every girl there stopped Jean from lying. "Alright, so rocks could teach him quantum physics, but he's not all that bad. Most of the time." She paused, "Its like we're never looking at each other at the same time."   
  
**  
  
"Exactly!" Scott shouted. "That's exactly how it is!" The fearless leader was forced to duck the empty coke cans John and Kurt threw at him to make him be quiet.  
  
**   
  
"Make him look," Tabby said. "Show him you're available and that you want him. And for god's sake, make it obvious that it's him you want! Guys are thick that way, you know." Every girl nodded in agreement.   
  
**  
  
Every guy just scowled.  
  
**   
  
Jean hmmed to herself. "I'll have to think of something."  
  
Tabby grinned full out. "Make it lacy with lots of pleather. Actually, I think I know the perfect outfit for you to try. He'd love it!"   
  
Jean blushed as red as her hair. "May god help me when you're through."   
  
"Not kidding," Rogue laughed.   
  
Rahne smiled, and in an attempt to lighten the mood, "I've got an idea for a game if anyone wants to try it?"   
  
"What do you have in mind?"   
  
"Guess the Underwear!"  
  
###%%%  
  
New game, more laughs, I hope. Please review!!! 


	6. skivvies

HEEELLLLLOOOO FF.NET!!!!  
  
This chapter has been reposted because I am an idiot. I keep thinking Berserker's real name is John, and I have been scolded for my mistake. I apologize for the mix up, his name is Raymond Crisp. (sorry, sorry, sorry!)  
  
Inuficcrzy returns from massive turkey day fun to bring you another installment of GNIN. Hope you all like it, and please review!  
  
Oh and to everyone who reviewed and said Legolas's ears are cuter than our sweet fuzzy elf's- WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE????!!!!  
  
I so don't own X-men.  
  
Chap 6: Skivvies?  
  
About 98% of the room (male and female) could not believe their ears.  
  
"What?" Kitty stared, horrified.  
  
"Take a guy, and give your best guess as to what kind of skivvies he wears. Color and material count in this too. After all, your underwear can match your personality," Rahne said matter-of-factly.  
  
Tabby started laughing, and the other girls just stared.  
  
**  
  
The guys were in much the same position.  
  
"You know what? All that crap they talk about guys being more dirty-minded than women? I am now convinced that it's all bullshit," Roberto said, blushing furiously. Kurt nodded in complete agreement.  
  
**  
  
"Who should we start with?" Amara asked.  
  
"Well, the last game started with Scott, so why break tradition?" Every girl turned and looked at Jean.  
  
**  
  
Every guy started at that move and turned to Scott. He was frozen in a look of pure horror.  
  
**  
  
Jean glared back at everyone. "Why does everyone turn and look at me?! I have never seen Scott in his underwear!"  
  
"Not for lack of trying," Rogue muttered, and quickly ducked five pillows the telekinetic girl threw at her.  
  
"But you can read his mind, right?" Tabby said slyly. "What's he normally wear?"  
  
Rahne frowned in thought. "Why would a guy think about his own underwear?"  
  
Jubilee shrugged. "Who knows what guys think about?"  
  
"I do!" Jean said exasperatedly. "And I'm not telling you!"  
  
Tabby cocked an eyebrow at her. "You really don't know, do you?"  
  
"NO!!"  
  
"Okay, okay. Jeez, Jean, don't have a cow," Tabby muttered.  
  
"Yeah, girl, just a simple question," Kitty said merrily.  
  
"So what do you guys think?" Jean asked the room at large, "Boxers or briefs?"  
  
"Briefs," Jubilee said. "Works better in a uniform."  
  
"Looks better in a uniform too," Amara said with a smile.  
  
"Cotton briefs," Jean said.  
  
Rogue arched an eyebrow, "Why cotton?"  
  
"Simple, yet classic."  
  
"Red ones," Amara called out.  
  
Tabby looked over at her. "Why red?"  
  
"He can't see anything else but red. Its not like he can color coordinate," Jean argued.  
  
"Alright, so we're agreed," Rahne said in her official voice. "Scott wears red cotton briefs."  
  
**  
  
The guys looked over at Scott, who was staring at the floor and blushing so hard they thought he might get a nosebleed.  
  
John finally asked what they all were thinking. "So, are they right?"  
  
Scott looked up, flustered, "N-no! No, I-I don't think so."  
  
Roberto looked at him like he was missing a clue. "What do you mean, think so? You know or you don't."  
  
"I"-he turned even redder. "I really can't tell what color they are."  
  
***  
  
Jean smiled at her mental image of Scott in his, how had Rahne put it? Oh yeah, his 'skivvies.' "Who's next?"  
  
"How about Evan?"  
  
"Evan? Hmm. Boxers." Kitty turned to consult with Rogue, who nodded. "Flannel boxers."  
  
"Why those?"  
  
"All about comfort and style, girl, comfort and style," Rogue laughed.  
  
"Green ones," Jean said. "Green is just a good color on him."  
  
**  
  
Evan stared. "They're good. They're really good."  
  
Remy and Roberto began to laugh until they cried.  
  
**  
  
"What about the new guy? Remy?"  
  
"Black," Rogue said confidently. "Whatever it is, it's black."  
  
"Silk," Jubilee said gleefully. "He looks like the type."  
  
That got some raised eyebrows. "The type for what?"  
  
Jubilee grinned. "Silk is the ultimate luxury, and it feels great on your skin." They started to nod in understanding. "Yep, that sounds like Gambit," Tabby said softly. "But what kind?"  
  
"Boxers," Jean said. "Comfort, you know." They all smiled at the thought.  
  
"Black silk boxers. Sounds right to me," Kitty said with a blush and a giggle.  
  
"Mmmmm, yummy thought," Rogue said with a dreamy smile.  
  
"No, yummy would be edible underwear," Tabby said playfully.  
  
"Licorice for him," Amara said slyly. The girls laughed at the idea.  
  
**  
  
The guys were laughing at a sputtering Remy, who was outraged that the girls were even playing this game. "Mon Dieu, not one of them's over 18! What's the world coming too!"  
  
**  
  
"What about, um, Ray?" Kitty asked.  
  
Rahne's eyes lit up in mischief, but she said with complete seriousness, "Gold satin bikini."  
  
The girls froze in shock at the mental image. Kitty managed to stammer out softly, "Y-you sound awfully confident."  
  
"Oh, I am. I saw him coming out of the shower once."  
  
Tabby's eyes lit up. "Oh? Nice?"  
  
"Oh, yes. Nice. Verrrry nice. Highly recommend it."  
  
**  
  
Ray was strutting to beat the band. "Oh yeah, that's right, watch them all drool." Every guy there threw a coke can at him and some popcorn too.  
  
**  
  
Kitty smiled. "So what flavor would you say?"  
  
Rahne frowned. "Hmm. I really can't think of one. How about you Amara?"  
  
"I like the idea of those candies that explode in your mouth," she said. "Popping rocks?"  
  
"Pop rocks," said Jean. "And I agree totally."  
  
^^^%%%$$###  
  
There you have it. If anyone has ideas for other guys that I haven't done in this chap, suggestions are welcome!  
  
Here's some review responses for the greatest bunch of people in ff.net:  
  
Lady LeBeau and Dark Jaded Rose: you two are positively wonderful and I love you guys. Your reviews mean a lot to me, thank you both.  
  
Amara Allerdyce: glad you like it, and I might work on that one. Could you email me and tell me some more details about both of them? Or maybe refer me to a site? I haven't done a lot of dialogue with the new mutants because I don't know a whole lot about them, could you help?  
  
Hallanole: I was so flattered that I made your list. Thanks so much!  
  
Flamekiller: okay, hon', just calm down. (inufic giggles) You really haven't read any stories that make you laugh? May I refer you to Pirate Kit and her story 'The Private Life of Jamie Maddox'. Extremely funny, I wish I were even half as good as her.  
  
JaSSerS, The Rogue Witch, and Rogue14: I'm so glad you like the story, and I love your reviews! Thanks!  
  
KittKatt001: I guess they don't. (smiles) hope you like what I've done now, thanks for reviewing! 


	7. Tightie whities and thongs and boxers, o...

Hello, my minions! We will now commence with the plan to TAKE OVER THE X- MEN UNIVERSE!!! BWAAHHHAAAHHHAAHHHAA!!!!  
  
I, Inuficcrzy, your brave commander, will allow you your pick of any X-man to have as your very own. (But I own Remy!)  
  
(Good god, am I ever gonna get flamed for that last sentence....)  
  
Okay, now seriously-  
  
Wait, no, seriously is a word I try to avoid, my apologies. I did repost chap six, had to make a correction, so please check the last couple of paragraphs.  
  
Now! On with the fic! The ideas and underwear expressed within are my own personal fantasies, and those of Caliente and Chia4, who gave me some great ideas! Thanks so much you two! ( I'm severely disappointed with the rest of you, hardly anyone else had any ideas for me, so if you disagree with my choice of skivvy for a character you like, its your own fault for not telling me.)  
  
I don't own the x-men, but I do have dibs on that killer mansion, the prof. said so. He's going to write me into the will! (Hehe...he did....really!)  
  
Chap 7: Tightie whities, and thongs, and boxers, oh my!  
  
Amara was still smiling at the image of a scantily clad Ray when she asked, "Should we include the Brotherhood in this?" she looked over to Tabby and Kitty. "It's your say."  
  
Kitty considered it, then spoke. "This is just my own opinion, but do you guys really want to picture Blob or Toad in their underwear?"  
  
The shudders that followed that statement would have made Avalanche jealous. Tabby could not keep the fright from her voice as she said, "Oh my eyes! They burn with the horror of that image! Ugh!"  
  
###&&&**(  
  
the guys were also shuddering in complete revulsion.  
  
##$$@@  
  
"Okay, that's a no," Amara laughed. She considered. "But, Pietro? Should we include him?"  
  
Tabby smirked. "I know exactly what he's got. I saw him come out of the shower too. Bikini bottoms, 'cause he thinks their sexy, green, 'cause that's the color he makes girls turn, and cotton ones because he needs to be able to wash the stains out."  
  
Rahne sent the same question back at her with an eyebrow raised in sarcasm. "Nice?"  
  
"I don't really know, there was nothing there big enough for him to cover." The girls laughed outright at that. "And as for flavor, who cares? He'd be done so fast you probably wouldn't notice it had happened." That made everyone laugh even more, and Jubilee almost had an accident involving cheetos before she calmed down.  
  
"Hey, while we're on the 'villains'," Rogue spoke up, "what do you guys say for Magneto?"  
  
Jean was ready for this one. "Nothing."  
  
Rogue frowned. "What?"  
  
"I say he wears nothing. Goes commando, 24/7."  
  
Kitty shuddered again, "Oh, the horror."  
  
Jean smirked, "the indignity! Can't you just see his thinking? 'I am the great Magneto! How dare you suggest I wear underwear! Who needs skivvies?'"  
  
Tabby broke down laughing. But Jean wasn't finished. "Its either that, or a chain-link chastity belt. Don't you guys think that that man desperately needs to get laid? And what about Sabertooth? Now there's another guy that seriously needs to relax. Can you really see him in underwear? Probably goes for the natural look."  
  
Rahne smiled. "Like my fellow Scotsmen?"  
  
Amara frowned in confusion. "What?"  
  
"Scots wear kilts, lass, a long wrap of cloth that covers everything you need it to. In some cases, it resembles a skirt that comes to the knees and normally has your clans colors on it," she explained.  
  
Kitty looked over at her. "Hey, Rahne? Is it true, what they say about"-  
  
"About no underwear under there?" She grinned outright. "You bet! How'd you like to see Remy in a kilt?"  
  
Rogue let out a long wolf whistle, then faked a Scottish accent. "oh, aye, lass, and wouldn't e're lass in the county be a'chasin' him o're hill and dale!"  
  
"Yeah," Kitty hollered, "with you leading the pack!"  
  
"O'course I would be, lass!" the other girls cracked up as Rahne sighed to Rogue. "Girlie, you so canna talk like a Scott."  
  
(A.N: I hereby refuse to write another word in any sort of accent, because I suck at them. If anyone reading is in Scotland or is of Scottish descent, my apologies for butchering the accent.)  
  
Jean ticked off on her fingers the guys they'd used so far. "Okay, we've done Ray, Pietro, Magneto, Sabertooth, Scott, who I also think would look good in a kilt," (insert random whistles and catcalls here.) Evan and Remy. So that leaves us-"  
  
"Sam, Jamie, Mr. McCoy, Kurt, Bobby, Mr. Logan, and Roberto," Amara finished.  
  
&&^^%%  
  
The aforementioned in Jean's list were smiling happily at the other groaning guys.  
  
Scott grinned over at Remy. "I knew they'd get theirs eventually."  
  
The Cajun smiled back distractedly. He was still reeling from hearing Rogue sound so appreciative of the idea of him in a kilt. 'And here I thought she didn't like me. Maybe I could convince Rahne to loan me some clothes.'  
  
%%&&&&  
  
(A.N.: I just shorted out my keyboard from drooling. What a lovely image, Remy all decked out like Mel Gibson in 'Braveheart', except with much better grooming. Back to the fic!)  
  
"You forgot the professor," Tabby said. She looked around at the girls faces and agreed. "Yeah, like I'm really crazy enough to guess his gear within a hundred miles of him. Where is he anyway?"  
  
"He and Logan are at the parent-teacher conference at school," Kitty said. "With so many of us, it almost guarantees they'll be out for most of the night."  
  
Boom Boom couldn't help her sigh of relief. It turned to a smile as she continued the game  
  
Jean brought the youngest guy in the mansion to the game. "What do you all say about Jamie?"  
  
"You guys cannot tell me you don't feel like a total cradle robber just discussing this," Jubilee says. Amara looked at her funny, so she explained the expression to the Aquian girl while Rahne thought about it. "True, but you've got to admit, he's the easiest one."  
  
They all nodded and said in almost perfect unison, "Power ranger tightie whities."  
  
"Cotton, of course," said Tabby. "It's simple and very innocent." Girls nod. "Hey, should we give him a flavor?"  
  
Kitty shuddered. "ewww, that's like trying to do that with your little brother!""  
  
Rogue agreed with her roomie.  
  
Boom Boom sighed in agreement, but said anyway, "Vanilla."  
  
"Tabby, "Jean groaned, "did you have to just ruin my favorite flavor ice cream?"  
  
"Sorry, girl, but we have to be thorough."  
  
Jean just rolled her eyes.  
  
Rogue got a bad feeling the nanosecond Tabby looked over at Kitty. "You guys aren't gonna do Kurt, are you?"  
  
Tabby lit up like Christmas had come early.  
  
Rogue just groaned and stuck her fingers in her ears. "I can't hear you, I can't hear you," she sang under her breath.  
  
"So, Kitty, what do you say for Kurt?"  
  
Kitty blushed. "I've never seen Kurt in his underwear!"  
  
Jubilee knew something was up by the look on Shadowcat's face. "But you know what he wears, don't you?"  
  
Kitty flushed even more, but finally said, "He likes briefs, black ones."  
  
Tabby's eyebrows went up at that. "And just how do you know all this?"  
  
Kitty ignored the question. " You know, he also has this pair of boxers that Evan got him for Christmas. It was a gag gift, white loose ones with good luck charms printed all over them. Evan said it was so he'd get lucky."  
  
Jean giggled at the memory. "I remember that, I swear Kurt turned bright purple."  
  
Kitty absently said, "You know, there are 37 shamrocks on that thing."  
  
The girls all exchanged looks and turned to face her. The question was so obvious, she couldn't ignore it like before and went on ahead and answered. "I did laundry duty a few times, so I know he wears them." She frowned in thought, "Actually, he wears those a lot."  
  
####  
  
Kurt was blushing so bad they began to worry about his blood pressure. But Even just could not resist the jab, "So. Did you ever get any luck in those?"  
  
"Evan!" the scandalized boy almost shouted.  
  
"What?" He echoed back the elf's words from before, "Ask a simple question.." Remy grinned slightly, but patted the blue boy on the shoulder. "Still a virgin?"  
  
Kurt almost angrily shrugged off his hand and said nothing, still blushing. Remy nodded in understanding and left him alone.  
  
####  
  
Jubilee looked at her oddly. "But why count the shamrocks?"  
  
Kitty couldn't help it and blushed. "Nice mental image for me."  
  
Tabby could no longer help it, and crowed out laughingly, "Nice one, Pryde! Very nice mental image!"  
  
####  
  
Scott stared. He'd only heard of it happening in cartoons or in comic books, never in real life. But here was proof that it was possible in the real world. Kurt Wagner had given himself a nose bleed from blushing. It had to be some kind of rare medical feat, Cyclops just knew it.  
  
The guys all started to look around for something to help, but it was Sam who came up with the best idea. He took the last sprite out of the cooler Remy had brought and had the elf tilt his head back with it on the back of his neck. Sam gave him a huge grin. "I don't know about you, but I'd be awful flattered that a girl liked me such that she counted the spots on my boxers. You're a lucky man, Wagner."  
  
Kurt found a smile and went back to watching the show.  
  
####  
  
Tabby said the one she'd been dying to hear all night. "What about Logan?  
  
Every X-girl froze in something very akin to fright. Jean finally snapped out, "Oh, for god's sake, he's not even here, he's at the school. He's not going to just swoop down out of the rafters and kill us for daring to picture him in his underwear."  
  
Kitty looks at her, still kind of scared. "You sure about that? Like, he does have a tendency to pop up at the totally worst time."  
  
Tabby finally got fed up with their timidity. She stood up on the bed and shouted out, "I say he wears a pink silk thong with a matching corset!"  
  
She paused for them all to get over their shock. "See? Nothing happened, now someone please help me get that mental image out of my head!" Girls start to giggle and laugh. Jean grins, "No, no, I want that to be the last thing you think about before you go to sleep tonight. How's-(snort)-that for-(oh, my god)-sweet dreams?!" The telepath broke down laughing, even going so far as to fall off the bed.  
  
Rogue, however, was attempting to beat Tabby to death with a pillow. "You sicko! That's Logan you're talking about!"  
  
The girl was trying to defend herself as best she could with one of Kitty's teddy bears. "What's your problem, girl? It was just a joke!"  
  
"Yeah? Well, how'd you like it if I said you dad runs around in pantyhose, huh?"  
  
"Hey!" Seeing the look of real anger in the rogue's eyes, she tried to diffuse the situation before things got ugly. Or worse, touchy-feely. "How'd you know about that? I mean, its not like dad tries to hide those little egg thingies in his room, but I thought he wouldn't do that in public."  
  
(A.N. [again] Leggs pantyhose comes in little plastic eggs for easy storage. I thought it was funny!)  
  
Rogue stared like the girl below her had finally lost her mind, then began to laugh. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go Rambo on you, but he's like---I mean, he's-"  
  
Kitty smiled. "I know what you mean. He's like a dad, isn't he?"  
  
Jubilee smiled. "In the words of Remy, and I really think he put it best, he's our Papa Logan, looking out for his kids."  
  
Jean almost laughed, "Do you think Gambit would ever say that to Wolverine's face?"  
  
"Heck no! He'd be diced and sliced before he could blink!"  
  
"Like, no kidding," Kitty said. She sighed. "For the sake of not having horrible nightmares involving the color pink, I say its white boxers." She glared at Tabby. "Absolutely no flavor."  
  
Boom Boom nodded in agreement, not wanting two mutant girls trying to beat her with pillows.  
  
###  
  
Holy cow.  
  
I PASSED THE 100 REVEIWS MARK!!!!! HURRAY!!! YIPPEE!!! I'M SO HAPPY I CAN'T SPELL RIGHT!!! Well, maybe I'm not that bad off, but I'm still coasting past cloud nine. The astronaughts have already taken me home twice because I keep going into orbit. And let me tell you guys, they really don't like it when you call them 'Buzz'. Apparently, they consider it bad luck.  
  
Review response and appreciation time!  
  
To Chia4; dude, I have to totally agree with you, but I'm referring to pointy ears on the side of the head, not delicious doggie ears on top of a guy's head. (Inuyasha, yumm!) {Hey, I am inuficcrzy for a reason!} thanks so much for your ideas!  
  
Caliente: you gave me some seriously sweet ideas, thank you so much, my friend!  
  
Nie Starwhistler: first off, very cool name. second, thanks so much for reviewing my fic so often, I really appreciate it.  
  
Hallanole: maybe I will, but a little later. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
JaSSerS, KittKatt001, Cuddness, The Rogue Witch, Rogue 14: you guys rock, thanks so much for reading me!  
  
Scrawler, warknyte, link, Sphinx29, Dark Whispers, Vinter, fragglerox: hope you like this one too, thanks for coming!  
  
And as always to Lady LeBeau and Dark Jaded Rose, you two are awesome. Thank you for being here. 


	8. Abandon Ship

Inuficcrzy looks around in wonder. "you guys, are so cool!"  
  
And I so mean that. I can't believe I'm almost to the 150 review mark. How sweet is that? And a lot of you checked out my other fics and reviewed them too! I'm literally so happy I think I can fly! Peter Pan, here I come!  
  
Okay, not really. Can't blame a girl for trying!  
  
Inuyasha: "Flying's fun, but it gets painful after the first few broken bones."  
  
Me: looks at him oddly. "you're weird."  
  
Chap 8: Abandon ship  
  
Mr. McCoy hmmed to himself down in the lab before he looked back up to the air vent near the top of the ceiling. To speak or not to speak? Normally in winter the mansion's heating system would drown out any noises coming from the other rooms of the house, same thing with the a/c in the summer. Bu this was late spring, so both systems were rather infrequent, leading him to discover that when both systems were off, the lab became a spy's dream. You could hear the sounds from roughly eighty percent of the upper house, including the students' rooms.  
  
While he'd spent most of the night alternately ignoring and laughing at the girls' conversation, it was getting to the point that his conscience was seriously starting to bug him. He really did want to give the girls privacy and resolved to quit the lab for the night and head for the upstairs library when Amara spoke and he froze solid.  
  
"So what do you think the esteemed Beast wears?"  
  
"Mr. McCoy?" Jean and Rogue exchanged looks. "Not a clue."  
  
Kitty piped up, "you know, with all those shorts he wears, I'm betting its"-  
  
A deep masculine voice spoke from the floor, nearly giving every girl present a heart attack. "I'm rather fond of briefs, very comfortable. I like dark blue ones, don't know why, makes it rather hard to remember I have any on when I'm looking for them.  
  
"As for a flavor, I'm rather shocked you would even include that in this little game of Miss Rahne's."  
  
Jubilee had one hand on her upper left arm, presumably having shooting pains down it. Amara, Rhane, and Rogue were blushing to the roots of their hair, and Kitty was staring in horror at the airvent. Tabby couldn't help her stammer. "M-Mr. Mc-C-Coy? How long have you been listening?"  
  
"Not long, girls, in fact I've been trying to ignore your conversation."  
  
@@@$$$^^^%%%  
  
Were someone to pass by the security room right then, they would have called an ambulance at the sound of such choking and gasping. Every single guy in the room was in tears. Bobby was slightly offended that he'd never made anybody crack up like this before, but he was having too good a laugh to care. "Did you see their faces?!  
  
Remy could barely sit up for clutching his sides, "Mon Dieu, look at Rogue! She'll do a Kurt and get a nose bleed if she blushes any harder."  
  
Kurt didn't have enough breath left to defend his sister, he could barely support brain function on the little air he was getting. The look on Kitty's face had been beyond priceless.  
  
Evan had to prop himself up with a few spikes. "Look! I think Jubilee's gonna have a stroke." He broke down laughing again.  
  
Scott barely managed to clam down enough to say, "No, no, that's getting dizzy and going numb in places. She's having a coronary." He tried to catch his breath and the nanosecond he looked at Jean, gave up the fight. She was turning the same color as her hair! "I-(ah, ha, ha!)-I think Jean's the one-(gasp!)-who's gonna have a stroke!"  
  
^^%%$$  
  
Kitty could no stop her mortified blush and nudged Jean. She mouthed the word as she projected the thought, 'Where?'  
  
Jean did a quick scan and telepathically said back, 'He's down in the lab, and' she breathed an audible sigh of relief before broadcasting to them all. 'He really has been trying to ignore us. He's leaving for the library now. (whew) I've sent him a mental apology for talking about him and he sends one to all of us for listening in.' She smiled and spoke aloud. "I forgive him, but only because he's one of my favorite adults."  
  
The girls nodded, more in relief that he hadn't mentioned saying anything about telling the Prof, or Mr. Logan what they were up to.  
  
**&&  
  
Ray still had a smile on his face from before, but got confused. "Huh? What's up with that jump in conversations?"  
  
Scott frowned. "Jean must have scanned for him to see what he's doing." A terrible thought struck them all. Something very important that they had forgotten, and it looked like they were soon going to pay for that little mistake.  
  
Jean had a telepathic range of roughly half a mile. And they were only three hundred feet away from her.  
  
Sam summed it all up. "Uh-oh."  
  
&&^^  
  
A sudden thought struck Rogue. "Jean? If Mr. McCoy's going to the library, where are all the boys?"  
  
&&  
  
Every man in the room froze, having two similar thoughts. The first was, of course, 'OH SHIT!!!!!'  
  
The second batch, while a lot more jumbled, were basically summed up in this.  
  
'ABANDON SHIP!!!'  
  
And while not on or in a ship, every guy grabbed on to a now very bruised Kurt like a living life preserver, screaming, "'Port!"  
  
"Where?!"  
  
Evan said it best. "Don't care!"  
  
"Anywhere, man, just 'port!" Sam panicked.  
  
"Alright!" the elf put forth massive effort and ported maybe two feet, almost collapsing. "Let go, you idiots, I can only port three at a time! Sam, Scott, Remy, lets go!" They tried again, and made it to Kurt's room. He ported back twice more and brought the rest up with him.  
  
"Do you think we made it out in time?" Ray asked. The room went still as they all tried to listen for the sounds of impending doom. The mansion remained silent.  
  
But was it a good quiet, or a bad quiet? ##@@!!  
  
Don't worry, my loyal minions, this is by no means near the end. Hope you like it!  
  
Responses:  
  
Lady Lebeau: first off, SORRY! SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY!!! He's yours, all yours. I just knew you were gonna be mad at me, (hic, sniffle.)  
  
Dark Jaded Rose: Glad you like it!  
  
KittKatt001: unfortunately, I doubt they can find that many kilts on such short notice, so no, no large group of X-boys doing the can-can in skirts. ( but man, what a nice dream sequence that would make.)  
  
Tokyobabe2040 and Chia4: I'm so glad you think its good! Thanks for reviewing.  
  
The Rogue Witch: No! no one hangs themselves on my watch. (grr.) sorry for the image, but I thought it was funny. Hope you like this chap better!  
  
Roguepheonix: first off, kick azz name. secondly, I think that's a great idea, but I'd have to work around Jean being a little apprehensive of that particular game. But I thinki can persuade her, right? (I am the author, dammit.)  
  
Sickminded Sucker: I think I have to agree with you on that one. Do they even make edible undies in that flav?  
  
Glaivester: honey, does anyone 'really' want to know? (Personally, I'm thinking tight red thong, which would really account for his massive attitude problem.)  
  
Amara Allerdyce: Sorry honey, but I thought he was with the Acolytes. (spelling?) I could rewrite my villains part a bit for you to include Pyro, if you want. I'm beginning to warm (dear god, the pun!) to the idea of amyro.  
  
JaSSerS: you are feeling better, right? I hate hearing that you're sick, its not the flu, is it? (many hugs and warm sugar cookies to you to feel better.) and as for his skivvies, I'd rather not try to describe underwear that, while interesting, I've never seen. I'm not that good a writer, hon. Hope you like this chap!  
  
RahneMan: Sure thing man! Can't wait to read 'em.  
  
My thanks to everyone who reviewed me, including:  
  
Danny, Dark Whispers, SperryDee, Nie Starwhistler, Aqueous, togepi4eva, bKat, Golden-Tuna, epona, anymous, and Autumn Raine. 


	9. Panic and WalMart

I am reviewed by some of the greatest people on earth.  
  
You guys rule.  
  
Oh, yeah, something I keep forgetting to do. I do not own X-men, Wal-Mart, or Mission: Impossible.  
  
Just so you know, telepathic thoughts and projections will be in these, ^'^. Someone talking and projecting at the same time will be in these "^^"  
  
Chap : Panic and Wal-Mart  
  
The telepathic girl looked at Rogue in surprise. "I can't believe I didn't think to look earlier." She frowned, "I'll check in with Scott." She closed her eyes and focused on the image of her friend.  
  
When Jean scanned for someone, it was a lot like astral projecting. She would suspend her mind above her body and-'listen' was the only term that really fit--for the pull of the mind she was searching for. When she heard his pull, she just barely brushed mental fingers against his mind.  
  
^Scott?^ She dropped her 'voice' to a kiddie tone. ^Hey, Scott, what'cha doin'?^  
  
&&^^%%  
  
Scott froze solid. Sam saw it and elbowed Ray. "We have contact."  
  
Cyclops was so nervous that he actually spoke out loud the same time that he projected. "^Um, um, Jean! Hey, uh-we're just in Kurt's room, chillin'.^"  
  
"Chillin'? Scott, don't even attempt that slang again, for my sake," Evan mock begged. He froze for a second. "Wait a sec, did you just say 'we're'? As in, more than you?!"  
  
^We're? Just how many guys are in there with you?^  
  
"We're!? You idiot, you just told her we're all here!" evan said in deep panic.  
  
"We're dead! We're gonna get make-uped!" Sam said in horror.  
  
"Mascara!"  
  
"Don't panic!" Ray said in a shaking voice. "oh who cares?! Panic! Panic now!"  
  
"Lash-curlers!  
  
"Shut up you chickens and let me talk!" Scott roared.  
  
^Are you okay in there?^  
  
"^I'm fine! We're just^"-he scrambled like mad trying to think of a reasonable excuse. The moment his eyes hit Gambit-he ducked his head and acted a little embarrassed. "^Well, we're just trying to figure out how to get Remy and Rogue together. He finally got desperate and asked for some help.^"  
  
^Ohhh. Why Scott, I had no idea you had it in you to play matchmaker. That's so sweet! And here I thought that you two didn't get along so well. I'm happy I'm wrong.^ She chuckled. ^And that's the last time you'll ever hear me say that.^  
  
Remy was currently trying to beat Scott to death with one of Kurt's rolled up Fangoria magazines. "I don't need any help with women! I could have her eating out of the palm of my hand if I wanted."  
  
Kurt laughed till he almost hurt himself. "Dear god, if you think that, maybe we should help you with Rogue."  
  
While retailiating against the Rolled-up Mag of Doom, Scott sent Remy's comments on to Jean, who was laughing till she cried. ^For crissake, if he thinks that, it'd take a lot more than you've all got to get them together.^  
  
"^Yeah, more like an act of God,^" Scott muttered.  
  
"Amen, brother!" Bobby said facetiously. He was admiring the heap of pillows and bag chairs that now hid a still sputtering Remy LeBeau. Scott had called in Kurt's brotherly duties to defend his sister's honor and together they had buried the Cajun. Ray, Sam, Roberto and Evan were laughing to hard to lend a hand on either side.  
  
Jean had said her goodbyes, wishing them the best of luck and promising not to tell Rogue of their-how had she put it? Oh yeah, 'nefarious plots.' That girl really had a flare for the melodramatic when she wanted, Scott thought with a smile. "That was close."  
  
"No kidding."  
  
"My whole life flashed before my eyes," Ray said with a light shudder. "I always thought that that was just an expression, but man! I saw it all over again. Every day at school, every chick I ever saw, every babe I've ever dated-hey, wait, maybe I should do that again!" Kurt punched him in the arm and Berserker went to sulk in a corner.  
  
"So," Bobby said slyly, "how should we get back to the sercurity room?"  
  
Seven guys stared at him in shock, (Remy just now managing to get out from under all the fluffy stuff.) Evan was the first to find his voice. "Are you insane?! Me, I could understand, I've got camera duty so I have to get back in there. But all of us? Again?"  
  
"Do you have a death wish?" Roberto asked calmly. "They almost caught us. Do you have any idea what they'd do to us if they found out about this?" All the while he was talking in that serenely calm voice, he was trying to strangle Bobby.  
  
It took some time to pry Sunspot off of him, but when they managed it, Bobby tried his pitch again. "Look, they're not gonna check twice! Scott just told them we're all here. She'd never think that he'd lie to her."  
  
Scott winced. Now there were the beginnings of a fine guilt trip.  
  
"So come on! What are you all, chicken?"  
  
"Say what?" Roberto stood up.  
  
"Who you callin' chicken, ice boy?" said an outraged Ray.  
  
This time they choose to not overburden a now tired Kurt, (massive 'porting under high panic and maxing your weight limit for motion can do that to a guy), and went back to the room in singles and pairs. They kicked a grumbling Remy back out for a snack run.  
  
But then Kurt brought up something that kept nagging at the back of his head. "Guys? Does anyone know where Jamie is? I haven't seen him all night."  
  
"Hey, where is the little booger ball?" Bobby wondered.  
  
"He's the only mutant left unaccounted for," Scott said softly. "You know, if I was the only guy left out, I'd be feeling very sneaky right about now.  
  
Evan was the one to stop that little panic before it could start. "Don't worry man, its cool. He's over at a friend's house tonight."  
  
Scott looked up with a worried frown. "Do they know about"---  
  
"Oh yeah, one of their kid's showing some signs on Cerebro. They're already on the school's waiting list."  
  
Cyclops couldn't help a light sigh of relief. The last thing they needed was a traitor.  
  
&&^^%%$$  
  
Kitty sighed. "Boy am I glad they aren't trying to listen in. I'd hate to have to kill someone while they're all so young."  
  
Most of the girls nodded in agreement.  
  
Tabby asked, completely out of the blue, "Hey, girls, does the prof. do anything special on birthdays?"  
  
Jean started. "No, nothing more than what the other students plan for it. Why, your birthday coming up?"  
  
"Nah, just asking. Don't know where that little brain blip came from."  
  
This lead to a comparison of birthday dates and Zodiac signs. Jubilee couldn't help it. "I've got the best birthday story ever," she broke in. "You all know I come from California, right?"  
  
"Oh yeah,'" Amara said dreamily, "the land of sun, fun-"  
  
"And hot beach boy buns!" Tabby finished with a laugh.  
  
"Too true," the china girl said smiling. "Well, it was my fourteenth birthday, and it had sucked so bad that day at school. I'd flunked a math test, got food spilled all over my shirt, fell down in the hall-I was in tears when I got home. So some of my friends out there decided to take me out to cheer me up. They took me out to Wal-mart, and I'm like, 'Wal-mart? I don't even deserve the mall?' But man what they did next"-she giggled.  
  
"They took me down to the home and garden depo and asked me to pick a lawn chair. So I do, a real nice long one with the cushions, you know? They have me sit in it and the next thing I know, two of the guys have got the chair up on their shoulders! With me in it!  
  
"Then the other four of them go get these cheesy looking tiki torches, and they started chanting. Chanting! You know like those guards in the Wizard of Oz? 'Oh-we-oh. We-ohh-wum.' That stuff? They were singing like that, just changed the words to 'Ju-bi-lee. Is four-teen. Ju-bi-lee. Is four- teen.'  
  
"They carried me all over the story six damn times, still holding the torches and singing that song! I thought I was going to die!" (1)  
  
Amara and Tabby were cracking up, and Jean and Rahne were both trying to stop the other from falling off the bed. Kitty and Rogue, thankfully enough, were already on the floor. Rogue managed to catch her breath enough to ask, "Just how high were all of you anyway?"  
  
"They weren't high, that was the scary part!"  
  
When everyone calmed down, Rogue spoke again. "Have y'all seen that list about Wal-mart?"  
  
"What list?"  
  
"Oh, oh, I know that one, I got it in my e-mail!" Kitty said happily. "The one that's like, 'Eight fun things to do at Wal-Mart!' Jean did number eight!" (2)  
  
"What?!"  
  
"You promised not to tell!" Jean shrieked. She hid her face in her hands while she commanded some pillows to beat Kitty.  
  
##$$@@  
  
Scott had the most incredulous expression on his face. "She did what?"  
  
"This I gotta hear," Evan said with a snicker.  
  
"Ten bucks says she did it on a dare," Ray offered.  
  
"You're on," Remy said laughingly.  
  
&&^^%$  
  
Tabby managed to convince Jean to not kill Kitty, and asked for the rest of the story. "I mean, you cannot just leave it like that. I'll die of curiosity."  
  
"Oh alright. Rahne said that I never did anything spontaneaous, and I said I do so, so she said prove it. She picked out that stupid list and dared me to do the last one."  
  
**&&  
  
Remy grinned, holding out his hand to Berserker. "Pay up."  
  
**&&  
  
Tabby raised an eyebrow. "Which was?"  
  
"Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme to Mission: Impossible." She blushed while Rahne started laughing like a hyena. "I had to hide in the girls bathroom to get away from all the store security teams they had after me." She threw another pillow at Wolfsbane, who could not stop laughing.  
  
**&&^^%%  
  
(1) sadly enough, this is a true story. (it happened to a friend!)  
  
2: my friend at school did this! And she did have to hide in the bathroom to get out of the store. It was so hilarious! I felt quite sorry for her, especially when it made the local evening news about an escaped mental patient they were looking for.  
  
Review responses:  
  
Dark Jaded Rose: I'm having way too much fun for the story to end so soon.  
  
Raskolion Pheonix: Mistakes? Where? If you see them, please tell me! I want no mistakes in my story!  
  
Trunksblue: I agree on the skivvies. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
KittKatt001, JaSSerS, and Amara Allerdyce: thanks so much for reviewing me!  
  
Gothic Cajun: cool name, and thanks for reviewing!  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed me!  
  
Cuddness,  
  
Aqueous,  
  
RahneMan,  
  
DesertRose-6,  
  
Caliente,  
  
SperryDee,  
  
Nie Starwhistler,  
  
huntqueen,  
  
Rogue14,  
  
Dark Dragonfly,  
  
Liz,  
  
txfg,  
  
BeccaBoo6,  
  
Tigere47,  
  
Sickminded Sucker,  
  
DOJ,  
  
Autumn Raine,  
  
Painbearer,  
  
and Chia4 


	10. Excellent, Logan, my cd of the XMen Vill...

HHHEEEELLLLLOOOO FF.NET!!!!!!!  
  
Inuficcrzy here, back with another installment of GNIN. Sorry it took so long, the holidays were so packed it wasn't funny. Try updating with a rabid toddler bouncing in your lap. (Sigh) excuses, excuses.  
  
Guess what. My sister just got on ff.net!! She's got a great story for x- men, and I'm so proud of her and if you like me you'll go check her out after you read this! Her name's red_angel_wings, and the story is called 'Dark Night'. Go read, and reveiw it!!!  
  
(chinese gong thingy sounds: 'BWWANNNHGGGG!!!!') I have spoken!  
  
Anyway, on with the show!! Oh, yeah. I don't own the Simpsons or the x-men, but I do own the lovely photo shots of the X-Men All Male Review Underwear Photo Gallery!! ("No!! No!! MINE!!!! Rogue!! Quit trying to steal the pics of Remy in his boxers! MINE!!! Somebody!! Stop that chick!")  
  
{I might let someone else see them, but only if they ask nicely. (tee hee!)}  
  
Chap: Excellent, Logan, my copy of the X-Men Village People Vrs. 6.9 came in!  
  
"I'm never gonna look at Wal-Mart the same ever again," Tabby laughed.  
  
"No joke," Kitty said with wheeze. "Oh, ow! Side stitch!" She immediately began to try and stretch it out. That gave her an idea. "Hey, you guys want to see something cool?"  
  
**  
  
Sam just stared, along with the rest of the guys. He tilted his head at a very awkward angle and then back over to the other side, still staring at the screen. "Wow. I had no idea a girl could do that."  
  
Remy agreed wholeheartedly. "That has got to be the oddest things I've ever seen."  
  
Bobby snorted. "Yeah, puts a whole new spin on the phrase, 'bend over backward to please you.'" He started and got a wicked look on his face. "Kurt, man, you and the Kat get together and you can do some of that kinky stuff-" POW!  
  
Kurt smiled contentedly from Bobby's now unoccupied chair, while the other boy groaned on the floor. Iceman had no idea pillows could be thrown that hard.  
  
Kitty was showing the girls some of her yoga moves, and it had her bent like a pretzel. Things got really interesting when Rogue started to try it too. They almost had to shut Remy up from all the happy yelling and whistling he was doing.  
  
**  
  
Kitty got up from the floor. "So, you guys think you might try a little yoga with me?"  
  
Rogue groaned from the floor, "Ugh, girl, I'm not made to bend in half."  
  
"Sure you could! You just, like, need practice." She hopped back up on the bed, reaching for a soda. Kitty accidently knocked the remote off the bedside table, causing the tv to turn on. Nothing special, except the volume was on, full-I'm-going-deaf-in-five-seconds-blast.  
  
"Aauughhh! Turn it off, turn it off!" She clicked it hard and rubbed her poor aching ears. "Sorry about that."  
  
"Hey," Tabby said, "it was the Simpsons. I love that show."  
  
"Me too," Jean said. She looked a little miffed at the surprised looks she got. "What? Its funny! Haven't you ever seen Mr. Burns go all evil and say, 'Excellent, Smithers,' and thought of the professor?"  
  
The girls paused for a half a second before cracking up laughing. Amara managed to say, "No, no, that would be, 'Excellent, Logan.'"  
  
"Yes, yes," Jean said in her best imitation of the evil nuclear plant owner, "'Excellent, Logan, all is going according to plan.'" She tried to do an evil cackle and ended up sounding like a seasick goat.  
  
"Ooh, ooh, better!" Jubilee shouted, "Scott as Ned Flanders! Can't you just see him in that sweater?!"  
  
Rahne waved her on, "And if Roberto isn't just perfect for Dr. Nick?" she did her best impression, "'Hi, everybody!'"  
  
"Hello, Dr. Nick!" they all chorused back to her before collapsing in giggles.  
  
**  
  
"This is so embarrassing," Scott said looking at the floor. He couldn't keep that face anymore and started laughing too. "'Excellent, Logan!' Could you imagine the look on Wolverine's face?!" The guys were almost rolling.  
  
"Yeah, and if Jean isn't the best Marge Simpson you ever saw," Remy tossed out.  
  
"Oh, god!" Scott waved his hand towards the Cajun, trying to make him stop. He was laughing so hard now he could barely breathe.  
  
"She's got that little growl thing down perfectly. All we need is some massive hair spray and I bet she could pull off that beehive," the southerner said with a grin.  
  
Scott fell off his chair, clutching his sides. He could so see her in a set of bad pearls and a tube dress.  
  
Berserker couldn't resist, "Tabby could be Aunt Sylvia!"  
  
Many groans in protest at that, and Ray got pelted with trash.  
  
"Give me bad dreams, why don't you," Sam said, disturbed.  
  
**  
  
"Can you believe the number of people they get on that show?" Rogue asked." They got everybody, from Sting, to Kiss, hell, they even got the Village People!"  
  
Tabby started snorting, never a good sign. Kitty eyed her warily. "What?"  
  
Boom Boom grinned. "Don't you guys think that we've got a perfectly good set of Village People right here?"  
  
"Uh-uhn, no way, I am not dressing up like a construction worker," Rogue said with a grimace.  
  
"No, not us! Think about it. The X-men Village People, Version 6.9."  
  
Kitty lit up. "Kurt would look so great in that police uniform! The blue suit and silver button kind. The hat's so cute too, it'd show off his ears!"  
  
"Was there a policeman in the Village People?" Jubilee looked confused for a second, but decided to run with it. "You know, Bobby would look great in that cowboy outfit."  
  
"Oh please," Rogue rolled her eyes. "Gambit would look way cuter as the Marine. Actually," she frowned, "he'd look good in the construction getup too. And the biker thing."  
  
Jean snorted, trying not to spray coke out her nose. "My god, he could be a one man Village People! Or would that be Village Man?"  
  
"Can't you just see him singing Macho Man?" Rogue said with a huge grin.  
  
"No way! Scott sings that perfectly, its 'his' song!"  
  
The girls had to find out about that one. Jean sighed with a laugh, "He has this awesome singing voice, melt-the-butter-off-your-tongue he's that good, and he sings in the shower. The bathroom's right next to my room, so I can hear him pretty well. And you ought to hear him belt out anything by Johnny Couger."  
  
Amara looked confused. "Who?"  
  
"John Melancamp."  
  
"Oh."  
  
**  
  
Kurt looked over at the very embarrassed Scott. "You sing? How come I've never heard it?"  
  
"Yeah!" the guys chorused. Oh the fun they could have with this.....  
  
Fearless leader blushed. Cherry red tomato blush. "I just-I just don't want to, got it!?"  
  
"Okay, okay." Cyclops should have known better than to think Bobby was gonna let this one go. "Can we tape you in the shower?"  
  
Roberto stared at Iceman. "Dude, that came out so wrong."  
  
"Huh? Wha-No! Nonononono, no! Ew!"  
  
"Oh, thank you," Scott said scathingly.  
  
"Not that! I-That's it, I'm shutting up." Bobby sat down in a huff.  
  
Sam just basked. "Oh, blessed silence."  
  
**  
  
"I can't believe we keep coming back to naked guys," Kitty said with a blush. "Somehow, in all our conversations, we keep coming back to that in one way or another. Have you all noticed this? Is that all we've been talking about?"  
  
"No! We've covered the Simpsons, the Village People, Legolas, underwear---- edible and conventional, shocking thoughts, sexy elves, and....and....my god. What a bunch of perverts we are," Tabby said in mild wonder. "Isn't this fun!?"  
  
"Yes!" Jean called merrily. Eight cream sodas tend to make a girl loosen up a little.  
  
"Speaking of Legolas," Amara started, "have any of you seen 'Pirates of the Carribean'?"  
  
"Yes! I love Johnny Depp!!!" Rogue said happily. She grinned full out and started hopping up and down on the bed.  
  
Everyone just stared at her. "Whatever she just drank, don't give her anymore," Rahne said softly.  
  
"No joke," Kitty said in the same tone. "She's scary like this! I had no idea Rogue of all people had it in her to be a teeny-bopper."  
  
"I am not a teeny-bopper!" The girl stopped her hopping and glared at them. "I met Johnny Depp once, that's why I love him."  
  
They all stared again.  
  
**  
  
Along with the guys, in total disbelief.  
  
**  
  
"You have not," Amara called out.  
  
"Yes I have! I met him while he was yatching down the Mississippi. Irene had taken me to St. Louis and we were down by the river docks when he showed up. We ate at the same restaurant he did and I bumped into him and spilled coke all down my shirt. He apologized to me and helped me clean up. My god it was so cool!"  
  
Jena scanned her. She couldn't be serio---"Oh. My. God. She's telling the truth." Every girl gasped in shock. "She really did meet-AAAUUGGHH!!!! You met Johnny Depp! You met Johnny Depp!!" Jean started jumping up and down too!  
  
"And he was soooo fiiinneee," Rogue sang out. "Yumm!" The girls immediately showered her with questions, Rogue happily answering anything and everything if she knew.  
  
**  
  
Sam was laughing so hard he was afraid he was going to hurt himself. "No wonder-(gasp)-she's immune to you! (Gasp, choke, cough, gasp) She's met a real movie star! (Ha, ha!) There ain't no way in hell you'll ever get her now!!"  
  
Remy was severely tempted to punch his lights out.  
  
&&^^%%$$  
  
Review time!!!! Oh and, um, for all who asked, I am quite sad to say that I lost the list. My fellow habitants recently cleaned out the computer room and destroyed my files (paper ones, thank god) by mistake. So I'm afraid I can't send you the list. But you could ask Ami, if its alright with her. She's seen a list of 68 things to do at Wal-Mart.  
  
SpitefullySane: first off, cool name. Secondly, I'm flattered you like me! Thanks!  
  
Rogue4787: I'll take the Remy with whip cream, thank you. (Grins big time and wags eyebrows at a nervous Gambit. "Shh, my precious.") thanks for reviewing me!  
  
Cannonballboy: I'm glad I make you and your friends laugh. And I totally understood what you were trying to describe them as, I have friends like that too!  
  
Anon(girl): thank you so much! I was so worried that I was going to be flamed out of sight for that. Thanks for reading this!!  
  
Tokyobabe2040: you did that too? Wow. You really have nowhere to shop? That's horrible! Maybe if you apologize and promise to not com ein while you're hyper they'll let you back in. Say hi to your sis for me!  
  
Ami: 68 things?! You're kidding! That's a lot of things for one bored person to do, but still, very cool! Sorry I made your sides hurt, don't laugh so hard! Drink more milk, it can help.  
  
The wonderful pair of Lady LeBeau and Dark Jaded Rose: I'm so glad you liked it!  
  
Sickminded Sucker: Huh? Why on earth would you be scarred for life? Now you've got me curious.......  
  
Raskolion Pheonix: hope you like this one. And wasn't Return of the King just so-so-man words fail to describe just how damn cool that movie is.  
  
MoonlightPheonix3: I'm sorry! I can't believe I left him out! He's my fav villian, mostly because you can tell that he really is a nice person being forced to do something he doesn't want to. But if I had to venture a guess, I'd say he's a forest green cotton breifs kind of guy. (What a lovely mental image!)  
  
Murderee: wow. What a name! Where'd you think of it? And hey, I'm glad you reviewed my story this time, good to hear from you!  
  
Cuddness: thanks so much, I love you!!! I can't believe someone would use an idea I had in their own fic and give me credit! Lordy. I'm so flattered!  
  
Desert-Rose6: thanks for pointing them out. I'll try to fix them as soon as I can!  
  
JaSSerS, Tainyeh, and Rogue 14: you guys have been there for so many chaps, and it makes me so happy that you follow my story. Thanks so much!  
  
(I'm putting this in here twice so you guys don't forget. She really is quite good. )guess what. My sister just got on ff.net!! She's got a great story for x-men, and I'm so proud of her and if you like me you'll go check her out after you read this! Her name's red_angel_wings, and the story is called 'Dark Night'. Go read, and reveiw it!!!(chinese gong thingy sounds: 'BWWANNNHGGGG!!!!') I have spoken!  
  
And many many thanks to everyone who reviewed me!  
  
Nie Starwhistler  
  
SperryDee  
  
Chicken (another name for my sister!)  
  
Aqueous  
  
RahneMan  
  
Gothic-Rogue LeBeau (very pretty name!)  
  
Shadow-Kitty-Kat  
  
Cloud of Blood  
  
wildkats1310  
  
Kazzeh Sodapop  
  
Gothic Cajun  
  
Sevish  
  
Tiggit  
  
Chia4  
  
Caliente  
  
Ryune  
  
The RP  
  
lildaisygirl24  
  
Autumn Raine  
  
KittKatt001  
  
Soup R. Man  
  
Elemental Water Mistress  
  
And sandybunny 


	11. Grand Master of the Universe

Hello everybody!!! Inuficcrzy back in action, and here's another chap of GNIN. Sorry its been so long, but my inspiration decided to take a walk and got lost. It took seventy different cartons of milk with pictures of it to find the damn thing again, but its back and the next update comes within a week or so.  
  
Hope you like it! Oh, this chap is why I have a high rating, just so you know.  
  
Me no own anything. I'm in college, I'm poor! I don't own the Scottsman song either.  
  
Chap: Grand master of the universe  
  
Ray made a mental note of everything that was going on in that room. The girls had finally come down off what Bobby had called their Johhny-high, and somehow that had led to this highly entertaining discussion.  
  
Or rather, this highly entertaining singing.  
  
Kurt stared. "Mien Gott, you'd think they were all raised in a bar!"  
  
Remy nodded in amused agreement. "That Tabby knows her drinking songs."  
  
"But she's only 17! How the hell would she know all those?" Evan said enviously.  
  
"I wanna know where she learned that joke," Sam said, looking at the screen. "That's one I've got to remember."  
  
~*~*~*~*  
  
"-and the third nun said, 'all I got was hand-lotion.'" Most girls made faces and laughed while Jean gasped. Tabby laughed at the stunned look on Jean's face. "Girl, you really need to get out more."  
  
"I guess so," she said shakenly.  
  
"Hey, have you guys heard this?" Amara called out. She began to sing,  
  
"Here lies the body of Marilee,  
  
she died at the age of a hundred and three.  
  
For fifteen years she kept her virginity,  
  
not a bad record for this vincinity."  
  
"Too true!" Rahne called out.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"I wish!" Ray and Bobby chorused right back. Most of the guys nodded in agreement.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Got one for us, pun-girl?" Kitty asked Rahne.  
  
Wolfsbane smiled. "Sure do, but its no pun. I got this joke from a stewardess on the flight over to America. Alright, an African embassador and a Russian embassador are taking a break from their meeting and they get to talking about the famous Russian Roulette. The African says, 'You know, we have something like that in my country. Come down to my embassy and I'll show you.' The Russian agrees. They go to his building and walk to a hall with six doors, and the African says, 'Pick any door. Behind each one is a beautiful girl who'll give you a blow job.'  
  
'Really?' says the Russian. 'I'm not complaining, by any means, but where's the danger in that?'  
  
'Well,' says the African, 'one of the girls is a cannibal.'"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
(insert massive wincing and leg-crossing here)  
  
Roberto stared, very disturbed. "That is so wrong, man." ~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kitty couldn't help her wince as she laughed. "Geez Rahne, that's awful!"  
  
"If you can do better," she answered with a shrug.  
  
"Okay," kitty rubbed her hands together. "This little boy was sitting on the side of the curb crying. An old man walking by saw it and stopped. He asked, 'What's the matter little boy? Why are you crying?'  
  
The boy said, 'I'm crying 'cuz I can't do what the big boys do.'  
  
The old man sat down and cried too."  
  
Tabby grinned outright before cracking up in laughter along with the rest of them. "Man," she gasped, "that was great! I didn't know you had that in you, Kat."  
  
"Hey, I've heard stuff! I'm not a little kid, you know." She humphed to herself.  
  
Tabby held out her hands, "Hey, no offense meant. You just look so sweet and innocent is all."  
  
Kitty laughed sarcastically, "Oh, thanks."  
  
Rogue finally chimed in one. "Here you two, I've got one for you. A man was asked by his wife to buy a live chicken for dinner. On his way home with the bird, he remembered that he didn't have his house key, and his wife wouldn't be home for a few hours. So to pass the time he went to the movies. But since he couldn't leave the bird alone, he brought it with him, stuffed down his pants."  
  
"Ouch!" Amara said with a giggle.  
  
Rogue nodded and continued, "He sat and started to watch the movie, and gets so into it, he doesn't even notice that the bird's managed to get a little loose and has stuck its head out his fly.  
  
Two women were sitting next to him and one of them noticed and nudged the other. She says, 'Look at that thing there, sticking out of that man's pants.  
  
The other says, 'So what? You've seen one, you've seen them all.'  
  
The first one says, 'Yeah, but this one's eating my popcorn!'"  
  
~*~*~**~  
  
The guys were positively rolling. Scott grinned at Remy. "You know, I think she might have some unrealistic expectations."  
  
To Scott's complete joy, Gambit blushed, actually blushed. "Shut up, you!"  
  
"That's my sister, man! My sister!" Kurt wailed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Jubilee couldn't hold it back any more. "I've got one to end it all. Anyone here know the Scottsman song? Besides you, Rahne!" They all shook their heads. She smiled like a cat. "You guys are gonna love this."  
  
[skip this part if you know the song I'm talking about.]  
  
AN: (For the poor deprived people who don't know this song, the plot of it is that a Scott in a kilt wanders off into the woods after drinking and passes out. Two women come along and see him sleeping, and see his kilt. They wonder if the rumor about not wearing anything under there is true, so they lift it up and look. They're so impressed by what they see, they tie a blue ribbon around it before leaving. The guy wakes up and sees it, wondering what the hell's been going on.)  
  
She sung it loud, she sung it proud, and every girl was rolling by the end of it.  
  
"-'Oh, I don't know where you've been, my lad,  
  
but its seems you've won first prize!'  
  
Ring-ding, diddle, diddle-lie-dio!  
  
Ring-ding, diddle-lie-oo!"  
  
Jubilation Lee was actually attempting to dance a jig while singing, and to everyone's surprise was doing an okay job of it. She finally collapsed, laughing and dizzy from going in circles.  
  
Kitty wiped tears of laughter out of her eyes, barely catching her breath before a wonderful thought struck her. She had to say it out loud, "You know, Kurt's blue. He's prize ribbon blue."  
  
She paused, letting that thought sink in. "All over."  
  
Every girl stared, then began to smile. Kitty wondered, "So, do you think that makes him Grand Master of the Universe by default?"  
  
Jean gasped. She then collapsed in peals of laughter, along with every single girl there. Except Rogue, who was trying not to gag. "Dammit, he's my brother. My brother!" she wailed in protest over the pack of hyenas she was stuck with.  
  
~*~**~*~*~*~  
  
Kurt's nose was bleeding again.  
  
Scott was clutching his sides again.  
  
Evan and Remy were doing their best to support each other and not fall out of their chairs.  
  
Ray, Roberto, Sam, and Bobby had altogether agreed to just forget their dignity, and were on the floor convulsing with laughter. Tears were running down everyone's face, except maybe Kurt's.  
  
It took eight minutes just to get over that, three more once people looked at Kurt to see his reaction. But once they did, Remy smiled while rubbing the sides of his face. "I haven't laughed that hard in my life. My face hurts from smiling too much!" He shook his head. "Never thought I'd see the day. So Kurt," he put a brotherly arm around the elf's shoulders, "I guess I'm not the only guy the girls' got high expectations for, huh?"  
  
"Sh-sh-shut up!" Kurt teleported out of the room.  
  
###@@@$%$%%%^^^  
  
Review time!!! Um, I'll include everyone's name in the next chap, but I literally don't have the disk space right now. Sorry to everyone else, your name will be here soon!!  
  
Riv: thanks so much for reviewing me so often!  
  
Sickminded Sucker: that's awful about your birthday. I hope your next one is much better. Hope you like this chap, and thanks for reviewing!  
  
Chai4: glad to hear from you, and I may include one more game before this wraps up.  
  
Tokyobabe2040, JaSSerS, Rogue 14: thanks so much for reviewing me, I love you guys.  
  
Cannonballboy: you're in language arts? Cool! What's it like? Are you in college? High school? Anyway, thanks for reviewing me, and say hi to your friends for me.  
  
Fragglerox: I might include truth or dare, that depends on the guys.  
  
Gothic Cajun: you and I share a similar problem. I love cream soda, but no one lets me have any anymore. (hic, sniffle.) I totally agree about Orlando Bloom and RotK, I bow in supplication. And hey, Romy will be along shortly. (along with Remy wearing something very special....)  
  
Dark Jaded Rose: so glad you're here, hope you like this one!  
  
Elemental Water Mistress: amen sister, I worship Legolas. And hey, don't be mean to your brain!  
  
Anon: I'm sorry, and I agree totally. I wish you could have told me when I was writing that chap, I would have included him for you.  
  
Rogue4787: I would like to order a Remy with honey barbeque in certain areas..and yeah, Rogue is a lucky girl, but with a mutation like that, she needs all the good karma she gets.  
  
Trunksblue: hey, let me know if you ever get your friend to go to Target and let me know what happens!  
  
RahneMan, KittKatt001, Desert-Rose6, Nie Starwhistler: thanks so much for reviewing!  
  
Star-of-Chaos: too true.  
  
Red_angel_wings: thanks chica!! 


	12. Flight of the Fuzzy One

Hail to the chicken, it's the chicken, so we hail it.  
  
Hail to the chicken, it's the chicken, so we hail it,  
  
And if you don't hail, hail the chicken, you slimy bast—okay, enough of that.  
  
Inuficcrzy here, with the latest chap of GNIN. Sorry it's been a while, but college, man, college!!!  
  
I own nothing. I mean it, nothing. The chicken stole my pics of Remy in his boxers.  
  
Chap: the female voice of god.  
  
Kitty paused in the hallway, still trying to catch her breath. After that last little wisecrack of hers, she'd made herself laugh so hard she had to make an emergency bathroom trip. Nothing like a good joke to make your kidneys kick over. Or in her case, damn near explode.  
  
For a moment, she savored the cooler air and quiet of the hall. Seven hyper people in one room tended to heat the air up quick, and it was actually getting quite warm in there. It was bound to get worse, what with Tabby, inspired by Jubilee's surprise performance, suggesting a round of karaoke.  
  
Kitty rolled her eyes. There was no way in hell she was going to sing in front of everybody! Especially not the Haitian Taco song like Jean wanted. (Note to self: never tell Jean about embarrassing childhood incidents ever again.)  
  
Shadowcat decided to go cool off for a while. Not to mention, she had a case of the munchies worse than some camp councilors. Something nice and cold that wouldn't give her brain freeze and keep the calories lower than she had in the last two hours. She smiled as she phased through the floor and down a wall into the kitchen, humming, "Carrot sticks are calling out my name, la de da, carrot sticks are....."  
  
~^~^~^~  
  
Kurt was severely tempted to slam the fridge door shut. The elf had ported down from the security room to the kitchen to get some ice for his nose and some peace and quiet. Eight obnoxious guys crammed into a room meant for two at the most got hot real quick. And if you had a year round fur coat like him, heat was not your friend. Especially if you shed like a sick cat when embarrassed anyway.  
  
Using a dishcloth to buffer the cold against his neck, he blessed the wonderful person who invented ice packs. He used the same rag later on to clean the blood off his face. Nothing like a joke at your expense to make your blood vessels explode. The disgruntled boy reached into the bottom half of the fridge and pulled out a last resort. He disregarded every health law he knew out of pure spite and drank chocolate milk right from the carton.  
  
Chocolate milk was his secret pleasure. Evan normally guarded the stuff like a miser, better than Mr. McCoy hid his precious Twinkies, but Kurt absolutely adored the stuff and could sniff it out like a trained bloodhound. When he'd lived with his parents, he'd never had the lovely stuff, but once he'd been introduced to it in the States–damn. He really liked his chocolate milk. Wait, did he say liked? He loved chocolate milk. If chocolate milk were a woman they would have been married for years now.  
  
He had enough common courtesy left to throw the empty carton out and not put it back when he heard the oddest little tune. "Carrot sticks are calling out my name, la de da, carrot sticks are"–  
  
"If they really are, you probably shouldn't eat something that knows your name," he quipped as he shut the door. Only to be confronted with the last person he was ready to see.  
  
Kitty.  
  
Apparently, she had a problem too. She immediately blushed crimson and looked down at the floor. "K-Kurt?"  
  
To say Kurt was turning red would have been the textbook definition of understatement. "Um, hello, Kitty."  
  
She suddenly giggled. At his confused look, she smiled at him, still blushing. "Sorry, but I always get a kick out of it when someone says hi to me like that. I used to hate that show because of it, but now I think it's just cute."  
  
"You mean like the Japanese cat show?"  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"Oh. Oh!" He chuckled to himself. "Sad to say I never noticed." 'Oh my god. I'm actually managing to talk casually to the same girl who all but said out loud that I must have the worlds biggest–—(ahem)----- well–----good lord.' He sat himself on a stool near the counter as she rooted through the fridge. "Do they really call your name?"  
  
She laughed, "No and thank god. I have enough of a problem eating fish, let alone talking carrots." Kitty pulled out a sandwich bag of chopped carrots and sat in the stool next to him. She crunched on them with blushing gusto as they sat in slightly uncomfortable silence.  
  
Kurt couldn't help it. He was still thinking of what she'd said to the girls before, about–"Kitty, are you mad at me?"  
  
"What? No, of course not!"  
  
"I'm sorry, but–we haven't talked for a long time." He reached over and put his hand next to hers, barely touching her fingers. "I miss you."  
  
She sighed. "I miss you too, fuzzy. But, I just have this problem, and I want to sort it out on my own first. Somehow, I just keep thinking that if you help me this time, I'd be even more messed up." The look on his face made her quickly add, "Not because of you!! I just need some time to be me a while longer." She looked back over to him, with an oddly sad _expression on her face as she took his hand. "Can you wait a little longer, Kurt?"  
  
He just smiled. Without thinking, he pulled her hand to him, causing her to fall forward. She gasped lightly, but stilled as she was caught into his arms. He pulled her all the way to him, just holding her tight. Kitty brought her arms up and wrapped them around his waist, squeezing him just as tight. He was so warm. His arms felt so strong and good around her, and he was so warm. No wonder she was in love with him.  
  
He tilted his head and whispered in her ear. "Whenever you're ready, I'll be there, Katzchen. I can wait."  
  
Kitty could honestly say she could no longer feel her legs. That must mean that she was levitating. Bound to pass cloud nine any second now. She was best friends, and in love with, the sweetest man on the face of the earth. She let herself hug him a little longer before pulling back. The girl smiled warmly at him, "Thank you, so much, for being my friend, you crazy fuzzy elf."  
  
"You are very welcome, madam."  
  
"Hey! I'm a miss, buster, and don't you forget it!" She lunged down and began to dig her fingers into his ribs.  
  
"No! No, Kitty, no tickle!" Kurt desperately tried to protect his sides, falling off the stool in his attempts. It didn't bother Kitty: she just followed right after him.  
  
%(*&%^)*&%^(&$*^%$  
  
Despite the absence of one of their hosts, the girls were keeping in good spirits and having a wonderful time. Tabby was leading a chorus of giggling girls in the most outrageous dirty song they (either gender) had ever heard. Something about a sultan with 10,000 wives, and a serious size issue.  
  
The guys were still in stitches over what Roberto had aptly named, 'the greatest penis reference permissible in polite company ever heard.' And while most of them wouldn't admit it, they were a little worried about Kurt. Remy finally stood up. "I'll go see what's keeping him."  
  
"Probably trying to stitch his nose shut," Bobby quipped. Gambit snorted at the bad joke as he left and went down the hall. Iceman continued, "Poor guy's gonna hurt himself like that, blushing."  
  
"Oh yeah, and we had nothing to do with it," Sam said sarcastically.  
  
Evan suddenly whooped. "GO KURT!!"  
  
"What?" Everyone wheeled around to look at the monitor Spyke was cheering at.  
  
Kurt and Kitty were rolling around on the kitchen floor, hands in interesting places and legs akimbo. Ray couldn't help it, "HELLLOOOOO, KITTY!"  
  
"Like you've seen that show!" Sam shouted out.  
  
"Who cares?!" Bobby yelled happily, "Go for it, man!"  
  
Scott just groaned. He'd seen those two go at it before, and had had much the same thoughts as everyone else. He'd tried to break it up, and ended up massively embarrassing himself. Kurt would still make cracks about him having a one track mind. "For the love of–would you bunch of pervs turn up the volume on it? Ten bucks says it's not what you think it is."  
  
"I'll take that one, Evan said cheerfully. The speakers crackled then flared to life.  
  
"—getting tired, fuzzy, huh, you getting tired?!"  
  
"You––(gasp)—don't–—fight––(wheeze)—fair!"  
  
"The hell with that!" She rolled one more time so that she was on top. "I'm a half-pint, remember? Short people gotta take advantage when we see it!"  
  
"I give up," Kurt dropped his arms to the floor, genuinely tired. "No more! No more–(wheeze)–my asthma—(gasp, choke)–I think I'm dying. (Cough, cough) it's getting dark. (Wheeze, cough, hack) I'm dead." He sprawled out on the floor, hoping for some pity points.  
  
~^~^~^~^~^  
  
Scott just grinned cheesily and held out an open hand to Evan. "Pay up."  
  
~^~^~^~^^~^~  
  
"Nice try fuzzy. I win! Booyaah! Who's the GM of the universe?!"  
  
"Me," he laughed out loud, before the words could clear for take off with his brain, "you said so." He froze beneath her. Wait a minute. Had he just said---oh, no. Oh holy—  
  
Kitty stilled too and frowned down at him. "What did you say?" She couldn't have heard him right. How could he know that she'd said that? Unless---  
  
One look at his face was all it took.  
  
Her voice went blank with shock. "All of them?"  
  
His tail twitched in panic.  
  
More than she needed to confirm.  
  
(Upstairs, Jean's left eyebrow twitched.)  
  
~^~^~^~^  
  
Remy finally tried the kitchen in his search for Nightcrawler, mostly because he was hungry. Needless to say, he was a little surprised to see that nice girl Kitty on top of Kurt like mustard on a ham and rye sandwich. "Um, you okay, Blue? I can give you two some privacy if you want"–  
  
Kitty turned and looked at him.  
  
Remy had heard one of his favorite comedians describe a conniption, and how you never wanted to see someone have it. The Cajun had a very bad feeling that he was about to see one, up close and personal. And since no woman in his entire life had ever looked at him that way, it led him to the obvious conclusion.  
  
She knew.  
  
Kitty slowly stood up, and Kurt scrambled to stand with her. "Kitty? Kitty, I'm sor–  
  
She hissed. Outright hissed. Then she regained enough control to choke out, "Run—fast—now-----"  
  
Two panicked blurs of black and blue streaked out of the kitchen, out the doors, and straight to the garage. A set of headlights could be seen racing out the gates and headed southwest, and they were clocked at roughly 168 miles an hour by New Jersey state cops seven minutes later...........  
  
^~^~^~^~^~^  
  
The males of the Xavier Institute for the Gifted were frozen in their seats. A monitor screen suddenly flickered.  
  
Like a green light at NASCAR, it had every guy in the room to start panicking and running for their lives. They had no Kurt to port them out fast enough, so they'd have to run a gauntlet through the mansion and down to the garage, where, hopefully, there were enough vehicles to get them all to safety, some five thousand miles away.  
  
Scott grabbed the door first, but suddenly yelped in pain. He jumped back holding his hand, like it had been burned.  
  
The door, made from four inches of solid steel, turned red, then bright yellow, and melted like butter in a skillet. There stood Magma in all her fiery glory, behind her stood Jubilee with hot silver sparks dancing across her knuckles. Tabby was right behind them, a fistful of bombs in each hand and a smile worthy of Satan. Wolfsbane was partially transformed, her fangs bared and claws out, fur bristling with anger. Rogue had a bag in one hand, brass knuckles in the other.  
  
But what really scared them was Jean. She had levitated off the ground, hair swirling around her like a furious red cloud. She looked down on them all, and rang out like the female voice of God—  
  
"You guys are so dead."  
  
Rogue just smiled, making them all shiver. "Actually, we're not here to kill you. But we'll make you wish you were dead..."  
  
Ray dropped in a dead faint.  
  
~!@#$%^&*()  
  
Okay guys, I need your opinion. I've got an idea, but I don't know if I should do it or not.  
  
I'm thinking of stopping the story here.  
  
.......  
  
............(sound of shot guns being loaded)  
  
NO!!! HEY, DON'T SHOOT!!!  
  
No conniptions yet guys, jeez! I said I was thinking of it, not that I would definately. It's all whether or not you guys want it that way or no.  
  
I will not end the story here. I said I was thinking of stopping it here. I thought that maybe I could write the revenge, return of Remy and Kurt, and shippages in another story, tentatively titled 'Boys Will be Boys.' You know, a sequel. It's just a thought.  
  
Now, on to review responses!!!  
  
Lady Lebeau and Dark Jaded Rose: you're here! Yay!!!!! I'm so glad you two keep reviewing me, you have no idea how happy it makes me. Hope you both like this one!  
  
Aqueous, Nie Starwhistler, Chia4, and The Uncanny R-man (RahneMan): you guys are so sweet to me, thank you.  
  
Millenium Mutant: Yes!!! Woods company, that's the band that sings it!! I just cold not remember their name, thank you so much for reminding me! And thanks so much for reviewing me! ( do I sound hyper or what?)  
  
Tokyobabe2040: wow. Really? He can do that? I thought he could only kinetically charge objects. But that would be so cool! I may have to try that.  
  
Cannonballboy: I agree, a 51% is an F+. and thanks for the crazy round, I think I might use it. (don't worry, your friend will definitely get a byline for that one.) thanks so much for reviewing me! (oh, and I agree about your teacher too. He does sound more than a little looney.)  
  
Moonlihgt Pheonix3: sorry, nothing but love for my fav Russian strongman. Thanks for reviewing me, hope you like this one.  
  
Angelique: um, no, TTWT is not a side-fling of this story. Its all on its own, and I hope you like what I'm going to be doing with it.  
  
Anon, Rogue14, SickmindedSucker, SperryDee: you guys rock! Thanks for reviewing me so much.  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed me!  
  
Shadow-Kitty-Kat  
  
PomegranteQueen  
  
Rika-or-ri  
  
Wildkats1310  
  
Lildaisygirl24  
  
Trunksblue  
  
Angie chick  
  
haydence  
  
ryune  
  
xx_silver thorn_xx  
  
hallanole  
  
reliena  
  
DemonRogue13  
  
Riv  
  
Peace 215  
  
Piotr's girl  
  
Willa. J  
  
Asteria  
  
DOJ  
  
Mrs. Jean Grey-Summers  
  
Martin Pettit  
  
Rukinha Lokinha  
  
Nite sky  
  
Gothic Cajun  
  
FreakyXGoth  
  
Kili-2 


	13. Eris comes to town

Hiya peeps! Inuficcrzy here, back for the last chap of GNIN. I decided I will make more of the story in a sequel, and it will indeed be called 'Boys Will be Boys.'  
  
And no, it is not going to be like a 'Boys Night In!' Good lord, everybody and their brother seems to think this. This is all about the aftermath. It'll have the return of Remy and Kurt, the explanation for Lance's behavior, the wooing of multiple girls, some fluff for all you ROMY and KURTTY shippers. Oh, and of course, the great revenge.  
  
Millions of kudos for Anon, Piotr's girl, Carla-p, and FreakyXGoth for their evil, evil suggestions for what the girls should do. They gave me loads of inspiration, and I thanks you. (You guys scare me, but you all rock!!)  
  
I still don't own the X-Men. Damn my luck.  
  
(AN: for those who don't know, pardon my spelling, but Eris is the goddess of chaos and discord.)  
  
Chap 13: Eris come to town.....  
  
The rumbling purr of a motorcycle could be faintly heard outside the gates of the Institute. A gorgeous red and yellow chopper came up the road, its rider fully intent on going in. But once the grounds came within earshot to his sensitive hearing, the tires almost screamed as the brakes were suddenly jerked. The man yanked off his helmet before he even stopped, just to be sure he'd heard right. He dismounted and popped out the kick-stand, walking a few feet further so that he could see the school grounds.  
  
Logan just stared.  
  
This was just too----- he could not think of how to describe it, even to himself.  
  
This man could safely say that he had seen just about everything in his travels around the world. He'd seen (1) monsters, (human and otherwise), (2) a woman change into a man, and vice versa, (3) solid metal twist like a scarf in the wind, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. He had even seen, to his nightmares at least twice a month, Sabertooth in his boxers. In other words, it was extremely hard to impress, disturb, and/or frighten this man. Getting on his list of most impressive/weird things was damn near impossible.  
  
However, what he was seeing had most certainly made the list. Hell, it was in the top ten. He hadn't seen something like this since his last trip to Singapore.  
  
Scott, in his underwear, with both hands handcuffed behind his back, was running for dear life across the yard. It looked----Logan squinted in the moonlight to be sure he wasn't seeing things. Oh hell. It looked like he was wearing make-up. And what was that white stuff in his hair?  
  
Jean was right behind him in her pajamas, levitating in the air and from the looks of her, fighting mad. She had a black marker in one hand and a camera in the other.  
  
Logan's jaw dropped open. What sort of kinky shit went on here when he wasn't around?!  
  
A sudden explosion lit the night as pieces of what he thought was the boathouse rained down from the sky. Logan jerked his gaze from the dynamic duo of fun and turned to see this next bit of calamity.  
  
Well, actually the calamity almost came to him.  
  
Bobby and Ray suddenly streaked across the lawn in the same direction as Scott, both looking very singed and----what the hell?! Bobby had make-up on too! He had no shirt and was quickly trying to remove his pants while running. Raymond was---  
  
Wolverine blinked hard twice to be sure. Oh god. Berserker was purple. Not his clothes, which were soaked. (He'd obviously been hiding in the water and it hadn't worked.) It was his skin. And his hair. Bright, choking-a- Smurf purple.  
  
Tabby and Rogue were chasing after them, both looking madder than Hell.  
  
What he saw next really took the cake.  
  
Sam came flying out the second story window, smashing glass in a grand style, and desperately tried to make for the gates. He also had make-up on, and—Logan couldn't help it and started to laugh. Cannonball had a yellow boa phased through his head, the ends of it sticking out and looking like a pair of sick chicken wings. Or one hell of a bad Viking wig. The older man halfway expected him to start chanting 'Ride of the Valkyries' any second.  
  
Kitty was holding onto his ankle while in midair and jumped to the ground before they hit. She, also in her pajamas, glared over at the boy, who started to shake in fear. "You want another piece of Kitty Pryde?!"  
  
Sam did the wisest thing. He screamed out, "RUNAWAY!!!!!" and followed his own advice. Kitty grinned manically and sprinted back inside, where the shouts could clearly be heard, "We've got him cornered!!!"  
  
Explosions echoed from outside and inside the mansion. He noticed multiple brown bones strewn across the back wall, roof, and part of the brick fencing. Evan had apparently been fighting someone around here. But judging by the sheer amount of burn marks on his 'spykes', the teacher was willing to bet the boy hadn't won.  
  
A sudden ring from his cell phone made Logan start as he hurried to answer it. It was Hank. "Um, Logan? You might want to rent a hotel room tonight, things have gotten a bit rowdy. Would you tell the professor and Ms. Munroe?"  
  
"Hank? Where are you?!"  
  
"Currently in the Blackbird, cruising at 10,000 feet. Safest place to be right about now."  
  
The man raised an incredulous eyebrow as Amara dumped someone's entire underwear drawer out a second floor window. "What the hell is going on in—"  
  
"Trust me, you don't want to go in and find out." The phone clicked off.  
  
The man took one more look at the place he usually called home and got back on his bike in a hurry. He'd call the prof from a safe distance.  
  
A harsh scream from inside the building made him jump. A high pitched male voice was swearing a blue streak in Portugese and English. It suddenly pitched even higher as the owner screamed out, "WHAT THE HELL??!! YOU CAN'T SHAVE THERE!!!"  
  
Logan's eyes went huge as he silently agreed with Beast. He really didn't want to know.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I repeat what I stated before. I'm writing the sequel to this, called 'Boys Will be Boys.' It'll be out before the end of March, (college midterms, must study!!!) And I hope you like it as well as this one.  
  
Oh yeah. Suggestions are extremely welcome for any other ideas of torture that don't involve death or intense physical pain. (Embarrasing them is just so much more fun as well as damaging, don't you all think so? {giggles})  
  
But this is the last chap for GNIN. Its been so much fun writing this story and hearing from all of you. I truly never thought I was all that funny, but you all seem determined to prove me wrong. Go figure.  
  
Thanks so much for all the wonderful support you've given me. You have no idea how much it meant to me. I hope to see all of you again soon!!!  
  
Review Responses!!!  
  
Red-angel-wings: nothing but love for my wonderful beta!!!  
  
Dark Jaded Rose: thank you so much for the confidence you give me. You rock.  
  
Lady Lebeau: Really? You thought it wasn't as funny as the others? Sorry about that, but I'm so glad you reveiw me so much. Hope you like the sequel too!  
  
Heven: I have to know. What the hell's a malteser?  
  
Angie Chik: (dodges bananas) sorry hon, but I got to do what I got to do. Come for the sequel?  
  
Oh evil one of mighty-ne....OH! TWINKIES!: first off, no more sugar for you. Second, thanks, I love twinkies. Third: is that your real computer name? Because it rocks!!!  
  
Mrs. Jean Grey-Summers: you got it hon. Hope you like what I'll do with it!  
  
Desert Rose6: forgive me! I never meant to imply I thought you'd leave me all alone.....(hic, sniffle). Thank you for coming so often to read my work, you have no idea how happy it makes me!  
  
SickmindedSucker: (dodges whip) CALM DOWN!! Jeez, are you and a guy I know named Duelist related? Just kidding, I like that you want me to do more. And I will, as soon as I can polish the first new chap!  
  
Rukinha Lokinha: don't worry, things between them will work out. It might take some effort though.  
  
Cannonballboy: sorry for being evil, but I keep telling this little devil on my shoulder that I'm supposed to be in charge and it just won't listen.......Anyhoo, thank you for what you wrote. It meant a lot to me, cuz sometimes what people say in reviews kind of hurts. What you said helped a lot.  
  
Millenium Mutant: you only got that stuff now? Why the long wait? And isn't Rumiko Takahashi the best?! Whatever that lady's on, I want it badly.  
  
Chia4 and Tokyobabe2040: a longer summary would be greatly appreciated. I'd really love to know how that happened and by whom. I solemnly promise to give you full and complete credit for any help you can give me, my friends.  
  
KittKatt001: when on earth are you going to France?! And why?! You must give me details! Think you'll get to see Johnny Depp's house?  
  
SperryDee, DemonRogue13, Nie Starwhistler, Riv, Rogue14, and The Uncanny R- Man: thank you so much for always making me smile when I read my reviews. You guys rule.  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed!!!  
  
Sarah  
  
bitrona  
  
me  
  
sir crazy girl  
  
angelique  
  
Nite Sky  
  
ShannzySpazzy  
  
fluffy's numba 1 gal  
  
Cyberlink42  
  
Chaotic Jinx  
  
cxinger  
  
ReluctantDragon  
  
Amy  
  
lildaisygirl24  
  
mima 57775  
  
algyny  
  
kili-2  
  
tydhrt  
  
Asteria  
  
and wigwig 


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